I love you. June

June /dʒuːn/ noun

the sixth month of the year, in the northern hemisphere usually considered the first month of summer.

"the roses flower in June"

Photo by Tuân Nguyễn Minh on Unsplash

We are at the end of the first six months of the year although I felt as if I have just welcomed January not long ago posted <here>. 

Seems time has literally flown spent virtually doing “nothing”

And by painstakingly doing nothing, and waiting.

Not just waiting twiddling my thumbs but waiting in a state of flow. 

Of equanimity. Of sitting with oneself in silence and solitude. 

Of not running away from oneself but sitting with one's pain. Befriending it. 

Breaching the void, enjoying it and it's impermanence. 

What a beautiful month June has blossomed into. 

Truly “roses flower in June”

Stillness is truly the superactivity of the source. 

And what a year it has been, getting to take stock at the half-way mark. 

I am prepping and bracing myself for the next half. 

And I know well enough the main aim is to take care of my physical body. 

Now that my spiritual body is strong, I am also ready, willing and able to face the months ahead one day at a time. 

As they say in sports; Let's go out and win the race. 

Have a great second half of the year. 

I love you. Rabindranath Tagore

The Bard of Bengal 

The first Asian and non-European to win the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1913, Rabindranath Tagore wrote poetry, lyrics, dance dramas, songs and stories since he was 8. By age 16, his first substantial work - The Songs of Bhanushingo Thakur was described as 'long lost classics' by literary authorities. 

In 1910 he wrote Gitanjali - Song Offerings in Bengali. 

The translated version was admired by WB Yeats and Ezra Pound. The former wrote a lengthy intro for his book. His fame grew as his works spread to the western world and he was awarded a knighthood by King George V in the 1915 Birthday Honours but Tagore renounced it after the Jallianwala Bagh Amritsar massacre in 1919.

Tagore with Gandhi

Featured here is a poem from the Gitanjali;

Unending Love

 “I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times.

In life after life, in age after age, forever.

My spellbound heart has made and remade the necklace of songs,

That you take as a gift, wear round your neck in your many forms,

In life after life, after age, forever.

Whenever I hear old chronicles of love, it's age old pain,

It's ancient tale of being apart or together.

As I stare on and on into the past, in the end you emerge,

Clad in the light of a pole-star, piercing the darkness of time.

You become an image of what is remembered forever.”

~ Ravindranath Tagore. 

I love you. Peter & Paul.

 

THE JUDGMENT OF PETER AND PAUL ON OLYMPUS

Here is another poem in prose about religion ostensibly replacing Greek mythology. Which is a myth onto itself. 

As civilisations evolve, beliefs and ideology change with the times as power favours the organised. The Roman empire stretched from England (Wales) to Egypt, encompassing everything in between stretching to Constantinople in the East. The Romans originally believed in Pantheism- the worship of many gods inherited from Greek mythology featuring the promiscuous Zeus and his supporting cast of beautiful heroes. The cast remain somewhat intact just a change of names to Jupiter, Juno, Mars, Mercury, Neptune, Venus, Apollo, Diana, Minerva, Ceres, Vulcan, and Vesta.

It was the Emperor Constantine whose open-mindedness allowed freedom of worship for subjects of the vast Roman empire. He embraced Christianity when he had a dream to paint the symbol of Christianity on the shields of his soldiers. He did and his men won the battle. Also the religion that Jesus preached was in stark contrast to the anger, jealousy and punishment that many of the Roman dieties seemed to encompass. 

[Pg 54]

The Council of Gods on Olympus by Peter Paul Rubens - The Yorck Project (2002) 10.000 Meisterwerke der Malerei (DVD-ROM), distributed by DIRECTMEDIA Publishing GmbH. ISBN: 3936122202., Public Domain

 

[Pg 55]

THE JUDGMENT OF PETER AND PAUL ON OLYMPUS

A POEM IN PROSE

IT was a night of spring, calm, silvery, and fragrant with dewy jasmine. The full moon was sailing above Olympus, and on the glittering, snowy summit of the mountain it shone with a clear, pensive, greenish light. Farther down in the Vale of Tempe was a dark thicket of thorn-bushes, shaken by the songs of nightingales—by entreaties, by complaints, by calls, by[Pg 56] allurements, by languor, by sighs. These sounds flowed like the music of flutes, filling the night; they fell like a pouring rain, and rushed on like rivers. At moments they ceased; then such silence followed that one might almost hear the snow thawing on the heights under the warm breath of May. It was an ambrosial night.

On that night came Peter and Paul, and sat on the highest grassmound of the slope to pass judgment on the gods of antiquity. The heads of the Apostles were encircled by halos, which illuminated their gray hair, stern brows, and severe eyes. Below, in the deep shade of beeches, stood the assembly of gods, abandoned and in dread, awaiting their sentence.

[Pg 57]Peter motioned with his hand, and at the sign Zeus stepped forth first from the assembly and approached the Apostles. The Cloud-Compeller was still mighty, and as huge as if cut out of marble by Phidias, but weakened and gloomy. His old eagle dragged along at his feet with broken wing, and the blue thunderbolt, grown reddish in places from rust, and partly quenched, seemed to be slipping from the stiffening right hand of the former father of gods and men. But when he stood before the Apostles the feeling of ancient supremacy filled his broad breast. He raised his head haughtily, and fixed on the face of the aged fisherman of Galilee his proud and glittering[Pg 58] eyes, which were as angry and as terrible as lightnings.

Olympus, accustomed to tremble before its ruler, shook to its foundations. The beeches quivered with fear, the song of the nightingales ceased, and the moon sailing above the snows grew as white as the linen web of Arachne. The eagle screamed through his crooked beak for the last time, and the lightning, as if animated by its ancient force, flashed and began to roar terribly at the feet of its master; it reared, hissed, snapped, and raised its three-cornered, flaming forehead, like a serpent ready to stab with poisonous fang. But Peter pressed the fiery bolts with his foot and crushed them to the earth. Turning[Pg 59] then to the Cloud-Compeller, he pronounced this sentence: “Thou art cursed and condemned through all eternity.” At once Zeus was extinguished. Growing pale in the twinkle of an eye, he whispered, with blackening lips, “᾽Ανάγκη” (“Necessity”), and vanished through the earth.

Poseidon of the dark curls next stood before the Apostles, with night in his eyes, and in his hand the blunted trident. To him then spoke Peter:

“It is not thou who wilt rouse the billows. It is not thou who wilt lead the storm-tossed ships to a quiet haven, but she who is called the ‘Star of the Sea.’”

[Pg 60]When Poseidon heard this he screamed, as if pierced with sudden pain, and turned into vanishing mist.

Next rose Apollo, the Silver-bowed, with a hollow lute in his hand, and walked toward the holy men. Behind him moved slowly the nine Muses, looking like nine white pillars. Terror-stricken, they stood before the judgment-seat, as if petrified, breathless, and without hope; but the radiant Apollo turned to Paul, and, in a voice which resembled wondrous music, said:

“Slay me not! Protect me, lord; for shouldst thou slay me, thou wouldst have to restore me to life again. I am the blossom of the soul of humanity; I am its gladness; I[Pg 61] am light; I am the yearning for God. Thou knowest best that the song of earth will not reach heaven if thou break its wings. Hence I implore thee, O saint, not to smite down Song.”

A moment of silence came. Peter raised his eyes toward the stars. Paul placed his hands on his sword-hilt, rested his forehead on them, and for a time fell into deep thought. At last he rose, made the sign of the cross calmly above the radiant head of the god, and said:

“Let Song live!”

Apollo sat down with his lute at the feet of the Apostle. The night became clearer, the jasmine gave out a stronger perfume, the glad [Pg 62]fountains sounded, the Muses gathered together like a flock of white swans, and, with voices still quivering from fear, began to sing in low tones marvellous words never heard on the heights of Olympus till that hour:

To thy protection we flee, holy Mother of God.
We come with our prayers; deign thou not to reject us,
But be pleased to preserve us from every evil,
O thou, our Lady!

Thus they sang on the heather, raising their eyes like pious nuns with heads covered with white.

Other gods came now. Bacchus and his chorus dashed past, wild, unrestrained, crowned with ivy and[Pg 63] grapevine, and bearing the cithara and the thyrsus. They rushed on madly, with shouts of despair, and fell into the bottomless pit.

Then before the Apostles stood a lofty, proud, sarcastic divinity, who, without waiting for question or sentence, spoke first. On her lips was a smile of derision.

“I am Pallas Athene. I do not beg life of you. I am an illusion, nothing more. Odysseus honored and obeyed me only when he had become senile. Telemachus listened to me only till hair covered his chin. Ye cannot take immortality from me, and I declare that I have been a shadow, that I am a shadow now, and shall remain a shadow forever.”

[Pg 64]At last her turn came to the most beautiful, the most honored goddess. As she approached, sweet, marvellous, tearful, the heart under her snow-white breast beat like the heart in a bird, and her lips quivered like those of a child that fears cruel punishment. She fell at their feet, and, stretching forth her divine arms, cried in fear and humility:

“I am sinful, I deserve blame, but I am Joy. Have mercy, forgive; I am the one happiness of mankind.” Then sobbing and fear took away her voice.

But Peter looked at the goddess with compassion, and placed his aged palm on her golden hair, while Paul, bending toward a cluster of white[Pg 65] field-lilies, broke off one blossom, and touching her with it, said:

“Joy, be henceforth like this flower, and live thou for mankind.”

Then came dawn—the divine dawn that looked out from beyond a depression between two peaks. The nightingales stopped singing, and immediately finches, linnets, and wrens began to draw their sleepy little heads from under their moistened wings, shaking the dew from their feathers, and repeating in low voices, “Svit! svit!” (“Light! light!”).

The earth awoke, smiled, and was delighted, because Song and Joy had not been taken from it.

~ Henryk Sienkiewicz

 

I love you. ee cummings

 Depth & Death in One Sentence. A Poem.

l

(al

ea

fa

ll

s)

on

el

in

es

s.

l(a leaf falls)oneliness. 

The layout of ee cumming's shortest poem is presented as such. Vertically descending. 

Though the shortest poem, it probably evokes the most amount of discourse, discussions, dissections and definitions. 

Obsessed with using letters in lower case, including his name, ee cummings laid use of letters (and parenthesis's) putting them to great utility in the arrangement for optimum effect in serving the idea and the message/s intended.

What is the meaning of this one-sentenced poem? Best described as, a falling leaf interrupting the word loneliness after the first letter lowercase 'l'. To read l()oneliness

For me, it's a diss on the word 'loneliness' metamorphosing the word to 'oneliness' when we realise that a person's life, best represented by a single leaf that one day must fall to the ground. So to feel lonely is to miss the point that it is in our 'oneliness' or oneness with the all that completes the whole. 

We are never alone in this cosmos, we are always in oneness with it. 

And once we come to this realisation, we no longer wallow in loneliness but unite in 'Oneliness' with the cosmos.  

Loneliness comes when all our days are spent in self-centredness. 

The very activity of self-centredness produces loneliness.

It is narrowing the whole vast extraordinariness of life into one small 'me'.

Amen. 

I love you. 65

Reality or Science Fiction? Or just a rant. 

Pohon Beringin*by PineForest

I am quite sure nobody remembers what actually happens on one's birthday. Or is it just me? Who is not so big on birthdays.

My mother always used to say; "If you're happy everyday, everyday is your birthday." Having said that; she'd still cook meesua soup with hard boiled eggs for me on my birthday. Thanks Abu. 

Be that as it may, I'm going to remember this one. 

On the night before, having gone to bed only at the wee hours, after the usual sojourn on my easy chair perched on my balcony, I finally drifted off to sleep as Alan Watts droned on my Spotify app. I find his talks very soothing if not tranquilizing, especially on the subjects of polarity and psychedelics.

I woke up just after eight to the sound of my phone ringing. A brother from another mother rang to shout greetings in my ear, seems like from a script that alluded to brotherly love, long life, happiness, joy and weed. Interestingly enough, I have spent more time with brother JB than any other person over the last few years. Hence it is no surprise why I had earlier texted him expressing my desire to spend today with him to 'jalan-jalan cari makan'. Unfortunately for me, he's away on a job in the north. Insyallah we meet next week when he returns. 

Well, it seems that I have made it to 65, 15 years after 50 and 5 years after 60. 

Both occasions were celebrated with a grand party. The first, a surprise party thrown by my family and my colleagues (master-minded by my ex-wife) when I hit 51. I wasn't in the mood to celebrate but I was blown-away with the gift of an exquisite memorial book that never fails to bring tears to my eyes each time I turn the pages.

When I hit 60, I splurged on a big Hollywood-themed party that felt as dramatic and as strange as a Hollywood script. On hindsight it turned out to be a farewell party for my closest and dearest. I left my home and my family that year. That brought tears to my eyes too.

Am I wallowing in self pity and remorse right now? 

I wouldn't be writing to commemorate this day if I were. I am writing because I have not felt this good in as many years. At least not that I can recall. Nor can I recall a more painful journey. 

Perhaps the best way to mark this milestone is to list the 10 things I learnt under it. 

And call it - What I know now at 65.

1. Life is to be enjoyed in-between the gaps of sorrow that will engulf us.

The secret is to live it fully, regardless. We are playing a game of hide and seek with ourselves here. In the end nothing really matters. We staged all this so that we can experience ourselves in this life. We came here as a Persona. Hence Person. The definition of which is Greek for a mask. A mask from which we put on a front/facade with an open mouthpiece that amplifies our voice to an open theatre. Latin verb per-sonare, literally sounding through. 

Because we so cleverly staged this life, we also cleverly caused ourselves to forget this staging. After all where's the fun in playing games where we already know the outcomes? And one thing is for sure, woman/mankind love to play games and be entertained. The more challenging, the more real, the more brutal, the more heartbreaking, the better. Or else what else is there to do? Even falling in love and making babies these days are falling out of favour but the constant consumption of stories continues. 

The stories begin with the self. Our body, our possessions, our feelings and our beliefs. As the world gets smaller our lives intertwine with others and engage with the world at large. The players, including ourselves, play our parts so well that soon we buy into the stories whole-heartedly. We get entangled in the drama and we get deeply attached to the passions, possessions and people in our lives. With deep attachments we get disappointed, dissatisfied and disillusioned. Pain and suffering follow inevitably. 

Remember, it's all a play. The sooner we wise up the better the play. 

2. We look in all the wrong places.

Then the search for meaning and purpose of life begins. We look for other passions, possessions, and people thinking they may be the answer. We get to soothe ourselves again momentarily. But they're just temporary, soon the same cycle of pain and suffering resurfaces and we sink further into destitute, desperation and depression. We resort to medicating our pain with alcohol, drugs, shopping or other therapies but nothing on this road can bring us lasting relief. Sounds familiar? That's pretty much where the human race is at. 

The good news is the search for meaning and purpose continues. Because deep down, we know, we just know that, there is something we have to remember about ourselves..

Remember, it's all Maya. An illusion. Wise up.

3. This life is not about me. It is about ALL of us. 

Life is certainly very seductive. One cannot be faulted if one falls heavily infatuated with it, or worse head over heels in search of pleasure. It isn't and it shouldn't be about pleasure. At least not in the way Hollywood portrayed it to be. As much as I abhor isn'ts, wouldn'ts and shouldn'ts, the pursuit of pleasure is not prohibited. But I have discovered that pleasure comes with it's inseparable terrible twin called pain. Pursue pleasure by all means, but be prepared to face the pain that comes with it. It's guaranteed. 

But I for one has been brought up on the concept of pleasure and I intend to live in pleasure whenever I can. Pleasure in this respect as defined by the stoics;

"The absence of pain in the body and of trouble in the soul." ~ Epicurus

Whatever your religious inclinations, beliefs, ideologies, philosophies, or superstitions, this is mine; 

I know deep down, we all come from the same place, the same source. The universe is conscious. How do I know? Because I am conscious. Conscious of the fact that, just like Copernicus and Galileo discovered, the sun doesn't revolve around our earth. Our Sun, one of many suns in our galaxy, one of many galaxies in our universe, keeps our solar system in place with Mercury in first, Jupiter in fifth is our largest planet. It is our sun's gravity that pulls the planets in our solar system together to revolve around it. Much like how electrons revolve around protons. By design, the configuration of atoms that make up our body is almost identical to our solar system. It is no coincidence that we are designed and configured as such. It is a universal spirit, tao, energy, god or brahman that unites us. We are ONE.

Remember, we are ALL in on this charade. The ONE playing all the roles. 

4. The answer lies within us. 

Our knowledge of outer space, however minuscule, serves little to satisfy our curiosity about the immensity that surrounds us day and night. The empty space that we gaze out upon, seem to be full of 'nothing'. Is it really just nothing? Or can only something come out of nothing? That idea can only be understood when we explore inner space which we know so little about compared to outer space. 

Inner space has two parts- the first is physical space on our planet, our own backyard, our forests, rivers, seas and oceans. We seem to know more about the other planets than our own planet. That's because the powers that can afford to do this has conquest driven by ego on their agenda. This line of thinking pretty much defines the relationship we humans have with the cosmos including nature, they are to be conquered and controlled. Hence the fight with nature and the conquest of outer space. 

Second, there's the inner space within us. That space some would call our higher self, inner being or just our consciousness. This is the space that is the most important but least visited hence least known- ourselves. This is our 95%. 

Remember, we are connected to a higher eternal source. 

5. Who Am I?

Who we truly are or Who am I? is the question that is as old as the existence of the human race. Yet it remains the current question that confronts all generations. It is one of the most confounding and perplexing questions that has ever riddled humankind. Perhaps because the answers are difficult to find or perhaps the answers we have on hand are difficult to comprehend, we turn to seek external answers from religion, science or philosophy. Having found, read, listened to thinkers, writers, philosophers like David Friedrich Strauss, Ludwig Feuerbach, Karl Marx, Charles Darwin, Friedrich Neitzsche, Jean Paul Sartre and Albert Camus. These sages paved the way for nihilism, existentialism and absurdism, they killed God and triggered the search for life's meaning and purpose. 

The better question to contemplate and query; Who Am I? The answer is... see #4.

6. Nature is separate from us. (?)

Therefore it has to be conquered and controlled. Hence the destruction of the rainforests and flattening of the earth to build steel and concrete cities and communities with little regard to nature. 

Results show that this belief is not only not working but it is threatening all lives on the planet. Science tells us that we inhale oxygen produced by plants and trees through photosynthesis which uses the carbon dioxide we and other animal lifeforms produce as waste. Isn't that already a miracle of life? A symbiotic relationship in action.

There is so much we don't know about nature and the life that surrounds us. Science- originally known as Philosophical Studies was the pursuit and search for the truth. The philosophers were our first scientists. Truths and theories were already discovered since the days of Socrates, Copernicus and Galileo. Then it became institutionalised and politicised from as far back as time in memorial. 

Nature is not separate from us humans. We are part of nature just as stars are part of the sky. Nature is intelligent, nature has immense power, nature is god. We come from nature. Therefore when we destroy nature we destroy ourselves. 

ALL of us are guilty of this. This is a note to self #nts.

7. Mankind is a superior being created by god separate from all other forms of creation. 

Some forms of man is even more superior to other forms of man. Therefore some people see it fit to impose their will upon others. By force when the others refuse to succumb to their demands. Hence the propagation of wars and conquest of people and nations in the name of god, righteousness, threats, suspicions of threats, fabrication of threats, with no regard to the suffering imposed upon the lives of innocent human beings.

Again, the slaughter of fellow humans come with great ease and little remorse amongst us. Nothing seems to have changed since the beginning of civilisation. As I write this, major conflicts and wars are still being propagated in Asia, Europe, South America and Africa. 

Remember Socrates was sentenced to death by the Athenian court, Jesus was killed by his own people, the Jews, Copernicus and Gallileo were branded heretics by the catholic Church, Gandhi was murdered by an Indian, and JFK was assassinated by a white American. What were their sins? All of them had only one thing in common, they discovered, spoke and stood for the truth. Now didn't Jesus say that, "the truth shall set you free?" but obviously not for these blokes. And more evidently; all of them had the support of the masses. 

So if man can turn on itself with such ferocity and self righteousness, what hope do 'lesser' beings or organisms have? 

Good and Evil is the inseparable duality within the singularity. 

8. The earth, nature, we, are all doomed to destruction and extinction. 

Seems that way however all is not doom and gloom when we consider this generation of humans as the most comfortable, convenience-empowered and most informed about almost everything everywhere. 

Thanks to technology, which is a by-product of science in the pursuit of the conquest and control of space, nature and nations, we get to enjoy high speed internet connections enabling more bandwidth for multiple layers of interactions to better living in the comfort of wherever we are. 

Jack Kilby, (and Robert Noyce) in 1958, invented the integrated circuit or microchip at Texas Instrument, they had no idea this creation would change the world with information. Later Noyce together with Gordon Moore founded Intel to work on the production of semiconductor memory chips which became Intel's first big commercial success. They worked on improving the integrated circuit and microprocessor which led to a law bearing Moore's name postulating that the number of transistors on a single chip will double every 18 months to 2 years. This exponential law prophesized in1965 is still delivering. The microchip today has shrunk to an invisible 2 nanometers (nm) housing an incredible 60 billion transistors. A single strand of human hair is 100nm in diameter. As I write this, IBM has this latest capability in store. 

The microchip will be the world's most affordable commodity, it will be cheaper than scrap paper. Soon everyone will be wearing contact lenses infused with microchips storing and accessing information tethered to the www. In just a blink, information is presented in our sight in real time.  

Artificial intelligence will grow body parts, organs, bones, skin, tissue from our bodies. At the risk of this post sounding like a science fiction novella, it is highly likely that I get to see the human body regenerate itself and even reverse ageing in this lifetime. As much as the new technology and AI sounds inspiring, it is also frightening. 

Humans have evolved with environmental factors. We are already cyborgs in the making. 

9. What will become of us?

Machine learning and AI will be so advanced that perhaps it is inevitable that they take over. The rise of the machines seems plausible now as it was mooted since the science fiction days of Asimov, Clarke and Wells. 

In 1997, the world's greatest player of chess, Gary Kasparov, was defeated by the IBM supercomputer Deep Blue in a highly publicised match. He then described the loss akin to playing against sheer brute force. 

Then in 2016, the ancient Chinese game of Go widely played in China, South Korea and Japan, succumbed to Google's DeepMind AlphaGo program. Go was considered a more complex game than Chess with far more possible moves which requires more intuition and is far less susceptible to brute force. The unthinkable happened. The machine beat top-ranked Lee Sedol in a game where the number of legal board positions has been calculated to be approximately 2.1 x 10170 which is far greater than the number of atoms in the observable universe, estimated to be of the order 1080 (read as ten to the power of eighty).

While DeepBlue relied on brute computational force to evaluate millions of positions, AlphaGo relied on neural networks and reinforcement learning. See the thrilling award-winning documentary >HERE

The machines have arrived, the gradient of exponential doubling of transistors on a microchip has metastasized into a wall. A wall of unstoppable brute force propelling mankind into a super bright future or condemning us to a dark world where we become slaves to the machines. Gordon Moore's vision of exponential growth has been realised much like the evolution of the species that started with a single-cell organism. 

It appears we have come full circle. 

10. What do we do?

We should keep on doing what we have been doing or have been trying to do for the longest time. Nothing.

Let's face it, we have basically been doing nothing. Except when the life as we know it, tries to tell us to get busy doing things that don't make sense or even matter. These so called 'things' that we were told or told to do by our parents, teachers, preachers, bosses, the system were useful only to the extent of merely surviving as humans. The great potential, found in the 'being' equation of 'human beings' was left largely unaddressed, needs to be seriously addressed. After all, we are human beings not human doings.

Perhaps now, with the rise of the machines we are compelled to face, meet, confront our being to discover who we really are. 

There has never been a better time than now to sit and do nothing while the machines do all our non-essential work that doesn't require our own special creativity, taste, feelings or emotions. 

We sit in stillness to connect with our divine nature tapping into the unlimited realm of endless possibilities.

Here is the search for meaning and purpose. 

Here is where we bestow meaning and purpose in our lives to pursue our hearts desires. 

Here is when we create our art to share with the world.

Here is where we ask the difficult question of; Who am I?

And here is where we start to tell our stories from our hearts, which the machines do not possess.

Start doing Nothing. Start with Meditation. 

Thank you for reading/listening to my Birthday rant.

See you on the other side. 

*Pohon Beringin or Tree of Life symbolises the abundance of life. Life in the water, on land, in the air, in Kelantan shadow puppet. The Banyan tree is the symbol of the wayang kulit at the start and the end of the show. Art by Wayang Kulit, Kelantan. 

I love you. Jesus Christ

The True Meaning of Easter

The scourging of Jesus who was tortured prior to his crucifixion.
 DeAgostini/Getty Images

Pilate washing his hands off Jesus' death.
DeAgostini/Getty Images

 

"In order to live a good life you have to place truth above everything else, so that you don’t fear speaking the truth even if the truth harms you as you speak." ~ Tolstoy

Jesus also said;

“If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” ~ John 8.31-32

They dragged him before Pilate* to be tried for blasphemy—for claiming, they said, to be King of the Jews. And they pressured Pilate, the only one with power to impose a death sentence, to call for his crucifixion.

According to the Gospel of Mark, Pilate came to the defence of Jesus before yielding to the desire of the crowd.

*Pontius Pilate was the Roman prefect (governor) of Judea, a subprovince of Syria, who ordered the crucifixion of Jesus. As prefect, Pilate commanded Roman military units, authorized construction projects, arranged for the collection of imperial taxes, and decided civil and criminal cases.

So what was it exactly that got Jesus nailed to the cross? 

Apparently they say it is the words that he uttered or someone uttered that alluded to him being the King of the Jews. 

The crowd including the Jews who gathered at his hearing before Pilate, instigated that he be crucified. Something the equivalent of a lynching mob that harassed Pilate into condemning the man to death. 

Research reveals the real reason Jesus was crucified was because he committed an offence in Jewish law. The high priest regards Jesus' claim as blasphemous. For this reason Pilates wanted to release Jesus realising there is no substance to the chief priest's accusations. 

He offers the crowd the choice between Jesus and Barabbas hoping to be able to set Jesus free. But his plan fails when the chief priests malevolently incites the crowd to ask for Barabbas to be freed and for Jesus to be crucified. 

Pilate vainly continues his desperate struggle to save Jesus from an unjust fate by appealing to them; " Why? What evil has he done?"

But he is eventually forced to submit to the fanatical Jewish mob baying for Jesus' blood and reluctantly condemns Jesus to death by crucifixion. 

The rest then is history.

Happy Easter all. 

I love you. Bitter Sweet Symphony

Life. 

'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, that's life

Tryna make ends meet, you're a slave to money then you die..' ~ The Verve

The original composers of the iconic and most controversial song was first attributed to Mick Jagger & Keith Richards. After 22 years of legal battles (over minor technicalities) between the managers and their lawyers, the rights to the song was finally given to The Verve whose 1996 recording and video became a huge hit. 

How did they finally resolve the long standing suit? 

Simple. By simply asking. All they did was ask Mick & Keith and they said yes.

The person involved in the middle of this fracas was Allen Klein, the shrewd and successful manager for both The Beatles as well as The Rolling Stones.

Anyway that's just a little trivia about the biggest injustices of the music industry around one of the most beautiful songs in the music industry.

Isn't this a Bittersweet Symphony in itself? Life's like that isn't it?

Enjoy. 

(And Don't be a slave to money.)

I love you. February

A Clear Night. A Full Moon. An Outdoor Party. Family and Friends.

Photo by Alexa on Unsplash

Chap Goh Mei, the 5th of February kicked off a much awaited and well deserved holiday celebration making up for Xmas, New Year, Chinese New Year and even Valentine's Day. And coinciding with Thaipusam.

I came out of hiatus to celebrate with family and friends. Lots to eat, lots to drink and lots to talk about, non-stop around the clock till dawn, then rest and repeat all weekend. That’s when I learnt that celebrations are mandatory among family and friends with wild boar ribs and cutlets roasting alongside chicken wings and drumsticks on the bbq. The more we have the more joyful we become when it's naturally isolated with no neighbours within sight.

Having being blissfully ensconced in my cave since November, progressing through December and January until February, I decided to spend at least one major holiday differently- alone. 

Did it with all three major holidays and ended up having a most enjoyable time. 

My lifelong valuable lessons;

1. There is already so much to do alone, what more if there were another person/s around? 

One would not have the luxury of space, time and silence to spend with oneself doing one's desires or simply doing nothing. 

2. The self-incarceration enabled me to get to know myself even more intimately. 

Hence the saying; "If you're never alone, you cannot know yourself. And if you do not know yourself, you will begin to fear the void."~ Paulo Coelho

3. The time spent alone also got me to get clear on life's meaning and purpose. 

There is no meaning and there is no purpose in life. In short, life has no meaning therefore no purpose. Albert Camus' writings plays a major influence on existentialism here. Special mentions to his speech in NY City on "The Human Crisis" and his book "The Myth of Sisyphus"

4. Right in the middle of isolation and solitude in mid-January or thereabouts, I get to uncover the genius of Carl Jung through a commentary by Alan Watts.

Jung said; "Stop running away from your self. Let go and face yourself squarely." 

Which brings to mind a story about Jung by Alan Watts on the fate of Adolf Eichmann, a main architect of the Holocaust who was captured, tried and executed in Jerusalem. 

On the war between good and evil, Jung said; "To the degree that you condemn others and find evil in others you are to that degree unconscious of the same thing in yourself." "Or at least the potentiality of it."

Alan goes on to say; "There can be Eichmanns, Hitlers, and Himmlers, just because there are people who are unconscious of their own dark side, and they project that darkness outwards into Jews, or Communist or whatever the enemy may be, and say there is the darkness and the darkness is not in me. And because that darkness is not in me, I am justified in annihilating the enemy whether it be atom bombs or gas chambers. 

Like the moon, everybody has a dark side, and in facing ourselves squarely we get to face our dark side and accept even embrace it. Then we begin to see that between consciousness and unconsciousness, if we were placed in a similar situation of conflict, we would probably do the same if not worse.

5. Spirituality aside, I also get to come to grips with that four-letter word - Work. 

I realise that it's not work if you thoroughly enjoy it or when you can't stop thinking about it. Or both.

So, work or play for me is a WIP on a moment to moment basis. But whatever I'm working on, I'm landing it without chasing it. Sitting at my work station or my zero-gravity chair on my balcony, I conjure solutions for problems not yet existent for businesses by way of corporate storytelling. 

The mantra I use for the business equation - "All Progress Begins with the Truth."

Imagine all business starting with the truth. Their truths. 

What stories we can begin to tell...

But... truth be told, I realised that it's what we have been doing from the start...!

6. Last but not least this insight landed softly upon my consciousness;

"I am but a small iteration of a larger eternal cosmos. If I can't control and manifest my iteration's every desire here, then I am not worthy of transcendence and ascendance to the higher realms."

Namaste.

May March bring us an abundance of new prosperity, wisdom, and courage to create and pursue our hearts' desires. 

I Love You. January

 Be Brave. Be Strong.

Photo by Wesley Tingey on Unsplash

That is what January has taught me. 

Be Brave by showing up, stepping up and going out no matter how I feel. Increase my area of contact and impact by exposing myself to as many people and situations as possible. To talk to, engage and interact with people to add value to those who'd respond and to the world around me. 

Be Strong by not judging people or situations. By not offering opinion or advise not solicited.                  To understand that everyone has their ongoing dialogue in their mind and only by listening intently can we understand how we can add value to them or walk away. 

Happy New Year. A History Lesson.

What can we expect in the 21st Century. 

Going into 2023 seems like a good time to give the third decade of the 21st Century an assessment.

 How we live in the 21st century depends on what we learnt from the past. 

The past, where much has happened by way of human endeavours, achievements and deeds. A past that unfolded in a region where we Asians live, a past that can inform us about our history or be condemned to repeat it. 

It started with great disaster manifesting in a Corona apocalypse that has reset the world. In a world that badly needed a reset and quiet riposte from the onset of the 21st Century. 

The world order was set in motion in 2001 with September 11. The events on the attack of the World Trade Center led to the further unleashing of American hubris in the Middle East and the torture chambers of Guantanamo Bay. 

Another major event set in motion in the same year, was the lesser known admission of China into the World Trade Organisation (WTO).

The Phoenix rises...

It is apparent which significant event born in the second year of the 21st century is going to last another century- China's rise. Which should come as no surprise seeing China's economic performance of late but more importantly recognising the fact that China has been leading the world in economic performance, technology, knowledge, culture and the arts for over 4,000 years before 1820.

The West, mainly Portugal, Spain, Great Britain and France traded with China for over a century for tea, silk, porcelain, spices, even basic condiments like salt and sugar. Before that, during the 7th Century, merchants were plying the silk road trading with China during the Tang Dynasty (618-907CE). See China's Golden Age.

Etching by 19th century British artist Thomas Allom showing the Dayuling Pass between Jiangxi and Guangdong, a key transport artery between Jiangnan and Lingnan where merchants passed and where the Gan River flowed. The beautiful scenery was mesmerising. Image: Hsu Chung-mao

From the 1700, the modern world had begun trading with China, first the Portuguese, the Dutch and the Spanish came to the East looking for spices to make their bland tasting meals edible. Then the British came under the guise of The East India Company, enslaved the people of India, Burma, Malaya, Borneo, and Java by defeating and breaking the Portuguese, Dutch and Spanish dominance of the East Indies. 

British dominance grew and so did their demand for Chinese luxury goods especially tea, porcelain and silk. This resulted in a trade imbalance in favour of the Chinese. To counter this imbalance, the British started growing opium in Bengal and allowed British merchants to sell opium to Chinese smugglers for illegal sale in China. The influx of illegal narcotics created increasing numbers of opium addicts that eventually reversed the trade imbalance to Britain's favour by 1820. 

The Most Profitable Commodity in the 19th Century

The sale of opium became Britain's largest single most profitable commodity in the 19th century. It became so big even the American merchants joined the action bringing in cheaper opium from Turkey. The opium demand grew rapidly as Chinese dealers could travel further inland to sell the narcotic to more Chinese. Demand outgrew supply attracting more European dealers to China selling more opium. 

As the opium trade grew so did the expatriate population of European merchants in Canton and Macau and soon the influx of private entrepreuners broke the monopoly of the East India Company. British merchants like William Jardine and James Matheson (later founded Jardine Matheson & Co, British principal opium producer) together with their Indian supplier Jamsetjee Jejeebhoy, formed a trinity of dealing in legal goods at the same time profiting from trafficking opium to China for decades. 

With great wealth comes great influence and the great gains from their illegal sale of opium allowed them to navigate the system and smuggled in more opium to fund their enterprise which in turn funded the Chinese authorities to turn a blind eye. 

Human greed knows no bounds, when soon the wealthy merchants grew contemptuous of Chinese legal systems and began fighting for more trading rights and political recognition by Imperial China. Meanwhile opium addiction grew among the Chinese and officials wrote the following describing the extent of the widespread addiction;

 

At the beginning, opium smoking was confined to the fops of wealthy families who took up the habit as a form of conspicuous consumption, even they knew that they should not indulge in it to the greatest extreme. Later, people of all social strata—from government officials and members of the gentry to craftsmen, merchants, entertainers, and servants, and even women, Buddhist monks and nuns, and Taoist priests—took up the habit and openly bought and equipped themselves with smoking instruments. Even in the center of our dynasty—the nation's capital and its surrounding areas—some of the inhabitants have also been contaminated by this dreadful poison.

The Scholar Official

The Qing Emperor, obviously alarmed at this dilemma issued a decree to stop the illegal opium trade, and appointed Commissioner Lin Xezu to eradicate the problem. Lin, quickly addressed the source and wrote an open letter to the 'Ruler of England' urging the Queen to end the opium trade. He stated that "..foreigners like the British have travelled great distances to come to China to procure goods for their wellbeing and benefit. Then how can the foreigners return injury for the benefit they have received by sending this poison to harm their benefactors?" "Since opium is illegal in the UK, he thinks it is wrong for the Queen to support it's sale in China as well as its cultivation and production in the British territories of Bengal, Patna, Bombay, Madras and Malwa." He further informed the Queen that he intends to "cut the drug forever." There was no response.

Having sworn to carry out his mission, Lin Xezu enforced the ban on the sale of opium and demanded that all supplies be surrendered to Chinese authorities. He closed the Pearl River channel trapping all British traders in Canton, raided all warehouses and ships stockpiling opium and destroyed all the opium seized. 

British Naval officer, diplomat and colonial administrator, Charles Elliot, protested the seizures but he had the good intention to avoid war and convinced the British merchants to cooperate with Chinese authorities. They handed over the stockpile with promise of compensation by the British government, who never agreed to this promise. This ploy further gave rise to British justification for starting the war.  During April and May 1839, British and American dealers surrendered 20,283 chests and 200 sacks of opium. The stockpile was publicly destroyed on the beach outside Canton.

History has proven that the best way to promote any product is to ban it. With the opium ban in force,  the black market for smugglers grew. Foreign ships arrived laden with opium, unaware of the ban had to unload their illegal cargo at Lintin Island. The sharp rise in opium prices made local traders and smugglers more eager to smuggle more opium into China. This was a great damper on Commissioner Lin's efforts to eradicate opium addiction. It seems that the opium scourge has been deeply entrenched for over two decades no thanks to push and pull economics. The British were pushing the narcotic they grew and manufactured in India to the local Chinese merchants' demands, for profit from a huge and growing distribution network. 

Who pays The Price of Progress?

China in the 19th Century seems to already suffer from the ills of progress. A growing population with growing affluence from trading goods the world craves, while she craves for nothing that the world has to offer in goods but illegal opium. 

While the world craves for her wares of fine silk, tea and porcelain, all sorts of characters- sailors, seamen, traders, merchants, of all pedigree would show up on her shores. These men would arrive from  all corners of the globe, principally Britain, Spain, France, Holland and the US, they would bring their silver and their wares to trade with China. The Imperial court foresaw the complications that these trade intrusions would cause and they decreed that trade should only be restricted to the Canton system, which confined incoming foreign trade to the southern port city of Canton.

What do we do with the drunken sailors?

True to form, in July 1839 a group of British merchant sailors got drunk on Chinese rice wine in Kowloon. Two of them got out of hand and beat to death a villager from nearby Tsim Sha Tsui. While Superintendent Elliot arrested the sailors and sentenced them to punishment in Naval court, he also refused to hand them over to Chinese authorities fearing they would be killed. 

Angered by their refusal and lack of respect for Chinese sovereignty, Commissioner Lin had to enforce punitive action as the British were running rough-shod over the Imperial decree yet again. He issued an edict preventing the sale of food to the British and ordered all ships to leave the Chinese coast. By the end of August over 60 British ships and over 2000 people were idling off the Chinese coast, fast running out of provisions. 

A hungry man is an angry man.

On 4 September 1839, Superintendent Elliot sailed into Kowloon for food supplies and encountered three Chinese junks. The Chinese peasants were forbidden to sell food to the British, after an ultimatum given by Elliot met with no response, the British opened fire at the Chinese junks. The junks returned fire and Chinese gunners on land began to fire at the British ships. By nightfall the Chinese junks withdrew allowing the British to desperately procure food supplies bribing local villagers in Kowloon. Thus was the start and end of the day old Battle of Kowloon, the first of many to follow in the first Opium War. 

Mounting pressures from the demand and supply chain in British, Indian and Chinese business owners, coupled with the loss of profits from the confiscation of illegal opium in China, led the British parliament to approve funding for war against China in October 1839. This was in spite of the fact that the public in both Britain and America expressed outrage at the British supporting the opium trade. 

Then member of Parliament, William Ewart Gladstone called it "most infamous and atrocious" referring to the opium trade between China and British India in particular. On the first opium war, Gladstone criticised it as "a war more unjust in its origin, a war more calculated in its progress to cover this country with permanent disgrace."

By November 1839, Foreign Secretary Palmeston instructed the Governor General of India to prepare military force for deployment in China.

The First Opium War 

The war that marked the start of what 20th century Chinese nationalists called the "Century of Humiliation". The ease with which the British forces defeated the numerically superior Chinese armies damaged the dynasty's prestige. The Treaty of Nanking was a step to opening the lucrative Chinese market to global commerce and the opium trade. The interpretation of the war, which was long the standard in the People's Republic of China, was summarised in 1976: The Opium War, "in which the Chinese people fought against British aggression, marked the beginning of modern Chinese history and the start of the Chinese people's bourgeois-democratic revolution against imperialism and feudalism.

 

Started in 1839 and ended with the Chinese losing in 1842 with heavy casualties and an uneven treaty called the Treaty of Nanjing forcing the Chinese to accept punitive terms in further opening up her country and markets to accommodate the Europeans, chiefly the British. Several more wars were to be fought in the ensuing years when unfair terms left one side seething with anger and dissatisfaction. 

Now after a hundred years of being trampled and beaten by foreigners and one hundred and eighty four years since the first opium war, the Chinese have learnt that; ".. if you are unprepared, you will be badly beaten." 

Given the geopolitical situation in the world today, China is very well prepared. The Lion is finally awake. 

*How they did it is a story for another day.

Happy New Year. And Happy Chinese New Year 2023.

I love you. Asshole.

New Year Resolutions.

New Year resolutions are like mistletoe, they only appear at the end of the year and disappear again at year's end.

If I were to make a New Year's resolution, I would just make this one. Every year. 

 

Photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash

How Not to be an Asshole. (DBAA)

Being an asshole is like being stupid. People can see you but you can’t. 

Believe me I know, I've been there. 

Truth hurts. The more it hurts the better you’ll become. 

Here’s my 10. 

1. When was the last time you smiled? Genuinely?  Now Smile please. 

2. Look people in the eye. And smile. 

3. Say 'please' and 'thank you' always.  And smile. 

4. Don’t be late for anything. 

5. Especially if you’re meeting your Mother/Granny or your Grab ride. These people are important. One gave you life, the other support life for his family. For all of them time is short. 

6. Be nice to the waiter and everyone in the service industry. Give genuine tips when appropriate.  *compliments are also tips. 

7. Say Yes to everything. For once. See how it feels. 

8. Listen to music. Really listen. Feel it. 

9. Stop joking. Really. Stop yourself and pay attention to everyone and everything around you. See how it feels. Really feel. Nice isn’t it? 

10. Tell your mother, your wife, your daughter, your son, your father, your husband “I love you” at least once a day. 

You never know when you will see them again. 

I love you. Live. For A Happy Happy New Year.

I love you. Merry X'mas

 Mary's boy child Jesus Christ was born on Christmas Day.

It's the most wonderful time of the year. 

One can't help but to celebrate the holidays, nicely planned towards the end of the year leading to the start of a brand New Year. Signifying it's time to let go of the past and prepare to start anew. 

On this Merry and Happy note, I would like to share a Verse from the Tao Te Ching that compliments the season and coincides with the message of Christianity. 

It seems that Lao Tzu and Jesus share and preach the same gospel.

Photo by Gareth Harper on Unsplash

Tao Te Ching v.81

Faithful words may not be beautiful,

Beautiful words may not be faithful,

Those who love do not quarrel,

Those who quarrel do not love.

Those who know are not learned,

Those who are learned do not know.

The riches of the self-controlled person are in the Inner Life.

When one spends for others, one has more for oneself.

When one gives to others, one has much more for oneself.

Heavenly Tao blesses all and hurts no one.

The way of the self-controlled person is to act and not to fight.

*Translated by Isabella Mears

Merry Christmas One and All...

I love you. Papa.

 A Tribute to our Patriarch.

Gan Peng Chew @ Gan Yam - b.20 December 1912   d.Feb 2006

Abu & Papa

He was born on 20 December 1912, the eldest son of Gan Swee,- Kapitan China of Johol and his first wife.

Papa had a lot of growing up to do in a household that was fast expanding with siblings, first from his own mother- a Nyonya from Simpang Ampat Melaka, then from his father's second wife- a demure young lady with bound-feet from China. Grandfather was working hard around the clock to expand his newly established empire inside and outside his home in Johol. 

By 1919, he had proudly erected his sturdy home in two shop lots on Main Street by Chettiar builders. It was later annexed by the Japanese as their HQ during the occupation. Grandfather had a reputation for being a Japanese sympathiser although one of his sons, our fourth uncle was accused of being a Communist and executed. Nevertheless, the Gan household continued to grow to accommodate 14 sons and 13 daughters from two wives. 

Papa being the eldest heir, was sent to school to study English and Chinese in nearby Kuala Pilah. This was part of an elaborate plan to equip him to helm the Union Bus Co. started by grandfather. 

Before that, this suitable boy had to be paired with a suitable wife. 

Whether known or unbeknown to him, Papa had already been paired with a certain young lady in Simpang Ampat named Chin Kim. She was the third daughter of plantation tycoon Mr. Chin Poh who was good buddies with Mr. Gan Swee when they both started out as young lads off the boat from China. 

They were so close that they married sisters and pledged their first borns to each other for marriage. Ostensibly to keep the wealth of the families within the clans. The Gan's first born, a female was betrothed to the Chin's first born a male. Therefore the Gan's first born male, a third, was matched with the Chin's third born which was the first female. Both of them were of somewhat similar age with a year or two in gap.

Papa was blissfully wedded to our dear Abu- Madam Chin Kim, a fine woman of Nyonya heritage. 

She was a one-woman demolition team. In that she demolished all or any task set before her with great efficiency and tenacity. There was practically nothing she couldn't do. Being a Nyonya, the first order of proficiency was prowess in the kitchen. That she did extremely well clad in her sarong kebaya.

The kitchen, in our extensive colonial Dutch homestead spread over almost an acre of land on the fringes of Tampin town, was purpose built for serious heavy duty firewood cooking. It was constructed as an annex to the main living quarters, which was an elaborate wooden structure housing four huge bedrooms, two separate bathrooms on each wing, an enclosed inner living room serving as inner foyer for the bedrooms and an extended outer living room fringed with french windows and wooden trellises on the front and sides. The outer living room, for receiving guests was the least used area, as it leads to the front of the house ending with concrete stairs that slope to the front gardens leading down to the narrow front metal gate leading further down by steep narrow stairs to the main trunk road below. 

Did I mention that the entire house sits on thick concrete stilts? Except for the kitchen annex and the broad verandah that connects the kitchen, the store rooms and bathroom complex with the main house. Yes it does and by design, it leaves a delightful underbelly retreat for the kids, dogs and other animals to play or take refuge for whatever reason, whatever time of day or year. Especially our seven dogs. Plus it's a nifty place to store our coconuts when they fall from our numerous trees surrounding the compound. 

The 'main entrance' to our house is actually from the rear. A pair of heavy iron gates guard the entrance from unwanted visitors mainly cattle and goats who usually meet their unfortunate end if they should wander into our compound. Our Alsations are killers by instinct. Even human visitors who are welcome get an unfriendly reception from our dogs who are beautiful and handsome creatures but highly unpredictable.The only person they are afraid of is, you guessed it, Abu. And why might that be, you might venture to ask? Well, it's because our Abu is also our resident Veterinarian. She not only concocts the herbal remedies to heal wounds- animal, poultry or human, but she has the most dangerous task of administering the medicine to the wounded animal as well. No one else can or will do it. Picture five adult sized male alsations and two smaller females. The alpha male is the much dreaded and feared all black, pure bred, aptly named- Congo. He is thankfully balanced by the ever gentle and loving female matriach- Poppy, who bore him most of the litter. They all live happily under the main house. 

Whenever Papa comes home from work, he would nudge the iron gates open with the nose of his Simca. As is the usual modus operandi, to avoid running up and down opening the gates for father, we would agree to lightly latch the iron gates such that they will fling open on a gentle nudge from the chrome bumper of his unique French 4-door saloon Simca Aronde Etoile. The car would slowly descent from the tarred road down the gentle gravel slope to a clearing fronting the adjoining verandah between the kitchen area and the main house. The verandah is a long broad covered walkway that slopes off length wise to large cemented courtyards on both sides, that we use for sunning our clothes, fruits, and food. This strip of real estate is where we spend most of our time. Papa would perch himself on his favourite chair at the kitchen end just to be near where Abu is- the kitchen. Stripped to his sarong and his pagoda wife-beater, he would while most afternoons away chatting with his wife while she's busying herself making kueh for tea. Most times it'll be goreng pisang and keledek or steamed kueh bakul topped with freshly grated coconut. We all loved her for her endless culinary creations, all for Papa who would never allow her to leave home, even to the market but he will cart all sorts of meat and vegetables home for her to display her cooking repertoire. We would eagerly wait to see what Abu would conjure from her kitchen and we were never disappointed. 

Even though Papa was the General Manager of the bus company grandfather founded, he never was the 9 to 5 type. He is seldom found in his office but likely at the workshops, spare parts shops, in the work places chatting with people, building relationships or making friends. He had the gift of the gab. fluent in 7 languages they say, more gifted than Bond even more deadly. He wrestled an armadillo in the dead of the night while driving home from Johol, bundled it with the shirt off his back, swiftly into the boot of his Simca. I sat confused and confounded amidst the commotion soundly in the car. 

Papa was always on the move. At times, I remember seeing him getting in and out of his car several times a day, descending and ascending the gravel driveway to and from the 'main entrance' of our home. He'd be either unloading grocery for us or loading goods for the old folks at the welfare home he has been tasked to look after for many years. Otherwise he would love to drive long distance to Seremban or Malacca. Most times it's to meet people or to procure parts for the bus company and occasionally he'd take Abu on our family joy rides to visit her sisters and for doctors' appointments in both these places. It was on these trips that we get to enjoy the exciting array of delicious food that these ancient towns had to offer. And Papa knew where all the best eating places were. From the original mobile satay seller who operates under the angsana trees in front of the A'Formosa in Malacca to the beef brisket noodles stall situated deep in the wet market of Seremban town, we have sampled them all. Papa Gan was the original foodie. He even introduced me to Bak Kut Teh in KL back when I wasn't even ready for KL. But one is always ready for BKT. 

Apparently Papa's sphere of influence as a transportation man as well as foodie spread far and wide. During the 1950's and 1960's, startup bus companies relied on close cooperation and collaboration to keep each others fleets running smoothly. Whether in procuring new or used buses or spare parts, Papa's contacts stretched nationwide including Singapore as well as parts in the north.

Coming from such high standards of culinary exposure both from home and outside, we were taught to appreciate food, not just good tasting food but simple food cooked with heart will always have the umami factor. 

When the 70's came along, we had moved to smaller but more modern accommodations in No. 27, Woon Estate. It was a bungalow sitting on less than a quarter of the size of our previous homestead. It came with three bedrooms, two bathrooms with toilets instead of an outhouse with a bucket underneath and a good sized storeroom for our laundry and the occasional pet.  

Abu's kitchen was no longer wood-fired but gas. She continued to perform fabulously in the kitchen as well as her small garden tending to her favourite flowers mainly bougainvillas and orchids. Never requiring rest she seems determined to fill her waking hours with worthwhile work or chores once her duties of devoting herself to Papa was done. Papa realises that, counts his blessings, and tries his best to be a loving husband. It was easy to see that Papa loves Abu very much even though he's overly fussy and self absorbed at times.

However when the 80's rolled along, Abu fell ill and succumbed to her illness after bitter battles in oncology wards of hospitals in Malacca and KL. She passed away peacefully among family at home in August of 1986. 

Broken hearted and alone, Papa stayed on in Woon Estate in a home full of pleasant memories. The children have all flown the coop and settled down to their careers or forging ahead to build one.

Having just left the bank job Papa got me, still in my early twenties, I was finding my way in the world of advertising. Relatively single, available and living alone I coaxed Papa into spending time with me in KL. I assured him that he was free to come and go as he pleased. 

Powered by his trusty chariot, a white Datsun120Y-NK388, he was virtually a free man plying between Johol, Tampin and KL doing whatever he pleases. I think he loved the bustle of KL most, being the 'young' and adventurous type. I would be mostly absent, being entangled in my own life and career adventures, save for weekends. He would roam the neighbourhood where we lived and the streets of KL looking for food or companionship. He found both in abundance and more. He found his third wife. With great strategy and dexterity, he knew he needed someone to spend his time with at the same time, he'd be needing a companion to care for him as the years advances. So he found and courted an unmarried lady twenty-eight years younger than him. He promptly married her in a private ceremony he planned with her without any of his children's involvement. We didn't take his marriage to her very kindly. Perhaps because we loved the memory of Abu too much to call another woman 'Mother' so we called her 'Aunty'.

He seemed to have found happiness and a reason to live again. With his new wife, Papa roamed the country from Kampar in the north to Johol in the south and everywhere else in between. Later the happy couple travelled the world with friends on guided tours as well as guests to my sister and her family who lived overseas. Life was good. 

Grandchildren came early for both Papa and Abu. Their only child, our eldest sister, delivered two pairs of boys and girls in quick succession. Then second eldest sister who was adopted, delivered two girls and a boy. Our older brother and his wife made them fuss and delight over a pair of lovely children soon after their marriage. The first a boy to carry the family name forward. Then came my children also in relative quick succession- boy, boy, girl. Followed by our baby sister with an adorable little girl bringing up the rear of this generation. 

Papa and his wife were housed close to my family, saw our children often and our children got to spend quality time with their grandparents. 

The years flew by, the children got older and bigger, the adults got older and more stressed and the elder got Alzheimer's and lost. Papa loved driving and one day he got lost driving his Datsun 120Y somewhere in KL. We were frantic not knowing what to do. We even got a radio station to broadcast his car make and number and to contact us if spotted but to no avail. Luckily he stopped and stumbled into someone's house in the middle of nowhere asking for directions. The good samaritan got in touch with us and we promptly retrieved him. From then onwards we placed a lost & found card in his shirt pocket every time he went out but more importantly he could only go out with his wife. Even though he never got lost again, things became worse for his handlers, especially his wife. He would lose track of time and insist on going out at anytime of the day or night. Papa seldom takes no for an answer. Aunty took the brunt of it all, took the responsibilities faithfully and sometimes the blows from his walking stick. But the silver lining behind this affliction was that he also forgot about his illnesses. He used to suffer from gout and a mild cancer of the kidney, they all went away when Alzheimer's came. And he continued to live a relatively robust life. 

Until his grandson got sick. A pall of dark cloud seem to hang over the family when Jon was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour. Papa was most distressed and even lucid. They were both very close to each other often spending time chatting about things. In a quiet moment shared with me, he confided that he would gladly give up his life in exchange for Jon's recovery. After his birthday in December and on the days leading up to Chinese New Year in 2006, Papa's health had deteriorated. He could barely sit up at our CNY reunion dinner table at home but he was present nonetheless. It was to be his last with us, and he left us on the seventh day of CNY. He went down, fighting a bleeding ulcer, at the emergency room of the KLGH. Even in his last moments, Papa's zest for life was insatiable. He refused to go quietly into the night but fought tooth and nail to hang onto a life well lived.

Happy Birthday Pa.