A Letter to Summer

HB Light & Joy.

Not too long ago in the last century.

Astride the factory racer- Ducati Desmosedici 999

At the Istana for Matah Ati. 

Clubbing at 21 (with Parents)

Malaysian Icon.

A Ballerina fr. KL wins 1st Prize in Barcelona.

Celebrating AMDA Scholarship

                                                                                  

To New York City.

 


  

                                                Prep & First Day- Enrolment & Registration. 

                                                              Warming up a chilly Times Sq.    

NYC Brands

NYC Brats

Dear Summer,

All offsprings are gems and crowning glory of our lives. 

Our family's blessings came in delightful bundles of joy in quick succession. The ending of the twentieth century brought us great bounty and gifts from the divine.

Being the youngest and a precious baby girl at that, you came with special blessings right from the day you were born. 

" To be a constant source of light & joy for all of us completing the circle that would bind us all together forever." 

It’s been three decades since and I think I know that you’re still the constant source of light and joy for the family. And I. 

I can’t imagine how you look right now but I surmise you look no different from when you were 21? And you will forever be 21 in my eyes and in my heart. That was the day when I saw how you’ve grown into a confident, capable, independent, and compassionate young woman on your 21st birthday party. 

It is one of the most memorable in my life. Seeing how you so maturely gave-in to your uncontrollably ‘proud’ father (who insisted on a blindfold gambit) & then you nicely wrapped it up in a poised delivery of your birthday speech. Everyone present was convinced you had come of age then. Especially me. 

Along with all the many birthdays we celebrated with you and all the birthdays we celebrated for Jon, Zane and Mum. I’m glad I had my fair share of precious & beautiful memories of and with you, on your birthdays as well as your brothers and mother. I must say that I truly enjoyed fatherhood.  It was more than I could ever wish for, but birthdays are just that, another excuse to celebrate this ephemeral life and if for any reason that we are unable to meet again, remember to celebrate life every chance you get, I would have no regrets, I have had many beautiful & precious memories of you, with you as well as the whole family to last several lifetimes & beyond. 

I just want to wish you a Happy Birthday filled with happiness and wellness always. 

I celebrate you each time I think of you. Always light & joy. 

With Love;

Pxxa

A Love Letter to the Universe.

Dear Universe (replaceable with god, nature, the Sun, the Brahman, the Tao, the Spirit or You) 

Image by PineForest

Namaste 🙏🏽. You cruel, heartless, unforgiving, cold, ruthless, capricious vile bitch of an enormous entity, I have never enjoyed this ride more than I am enjoying the ride now. Right now. 

The ride that I gladly call my humble life- fully embracing my joys and sorrows and everything else in between.

Looking back, it seems like I have been living several lifetimes in just one lifetime. 

Through my own doing or undoing I have cast myself into a multiverse of sorts, meeting several different individuals and groups of people, cementing deep and meaningful relationships over the span of seven years thus far. Though I’d like to think that I was conscious and complicit in my actions leading to the family break up, and my solitary life, I can’t help but to instinctively feel that a larger entity was in play, to have ordered this chaos that has launched me on a wild trajectory of cosmic proportions. And that was when I met you the cosmos aka the universe and began to see myself minus the veil of thought, shrouded in pain and suffering.

What a sight to behold the great nothingness. The formless. Eternal consciousness. You and I are one. 

I am a scion of the universe. 

I am eternal as the universe is. I am consciousness. I am formless. I am the divine. 

As formless as my source, I am made manifest in the form of an earthly being fully equipped with six levels of sense perception to fully explore and experience this world. Of Maya. Karma and Anava. Illusion, action and ignorance. 

Ignorance truly is bliss. For in our ignorance in executing our actions, in a world of illusions, we are meant to explore & experience anything, knowing that we will always be taken care of. No matter the outcome, it always works out in our favour. 

A thought now pops into my head, relating to the medicinal herbs startup I founded and recently shared it with a guest- “May we never know what evils or ills that could have befallen us had we had our desires fulfilled.” On the back of that thought, I know the outcome in the present moment is always favourable. It is always what it is. No matter how joyful or painful it is, it will pass-  It is not I, not me, not myself. 

I never fully experienced the joy of being truly happy deep inside, since I chanted this mantra given to me at the start of my spiritual journey towards the end of the last century. … 

“ I am healthy, happy and enjoying every moment of my life, may all beings be blessed with good health, prosperity & spirituality. In full faith so be it.”

 Now I do. 

To put my lifelong quest into words; I now know that I have been seeking spiritual wisdom. Not just wisdom as expounded by the ancient Greeks but spiritual wisdom espoused by the Hindus. 

Buddhism, the more scientific methodology of contemplation, of mind and being, has its roots in the deep history of Hinduism. So while my left brain is intellectualised and grounded by the daily practice of Buddhism, my right brain takes flight on the myths, stories and ideologies of Hindu lores called Sanatana dhamma, a way of life aimed at living a civilised life. Which is a way of ‘being’ as opposed to chasing and doing. 

Although already aware of the being state, I have never fully immersed myself in being, until now. To be fully centered in ‘being’ most of my waking hours brings clarity to the quality of life. 

To be fully conscious and connected to everyone and everything around me yet detached. Mindful of first taking care of oneself in thought, word and deed. To be slow to react, to be impeccable in words and deliberate in actions. 

It’s such a liberating feeling to be; immune to criticism, beneath or above no one and to fear nothing. 

Yet I still feel a deep yearning for my loved ones to give my life meaning and purpose and share in it. 

Right now I know that every one of us will have to sit alone in solitude in silence or in chaos to contemplate life, when the time comes. I pray it be better sooner than later, no matter what condition our lives are in. It is an irrefutable truth. One of life’s guaranteed path to enlightenment aka ending suffering. 

We are more in a state of fear than in a neutral state of mind, let alone being in a joyful state most of the time. When we sit in silent contemplation, we learn how to enjoy it coming full circle to be - 

- immune to criticism 

- beneath or above no one. 

- Fearless. 

And conduct oneself in a manner; 'to be as wise as serpents and as gentle as doves' holding loving compassion in our hearts for all beings. 

What a great way to live.

Thank you, 

With Love,

SL Peter Gan

Amen. 🙏🏽