A Love Letter to the Universe.

Dear Universe (replaceable with god, nature, the Sun, the Brahman, the Tao, the Spirit or You) 

Image by PineForest

Namaste 🙏🏽. You cruel, heartless, unforgiving, cold, ruthless, capricious vile bitch of an enormous entity, I have never enjoyed this ride more than I am enjoying the ride now. Right now. 

The ride that I gladly call my humble life- fully embracing my joys and sorrows and everything else in between.

Looking back, it seems like I have been living several lifetimes in just one lifetime. 

Through my own doing or undoing I have cast myself into a multiverse of sorts, meeting several different individuals and groups of people, cementing deep and meaningful relationships over the span of seven years thus far. Though I’d like to think that I was conscious and complicit in my actions leading to the family break up, and my solitary life, I can’t help but to instinctively feel that a larger entity was in play, to have ordered this chaos that has launched me on a wild trajectory of cosmic proportions. And that was when I met you the cosmos aka the universe and began to see myself minus the veil of thought, shrouded in pain and suffering.

What a sight to behold the great nothingness. The formless. Eternal consciousness. You and I are one. 

I am a scion of the universe. 

I am eternal as the universe is. I am consciousness. I am formless. I am the divine. 

As formless as my source, I am made manifest in the form of an earthly being fully equipped with six levels of sense perception to fully explore and experience this world. Of Maya. Karma and Anava. Illusion, action and ignorance. 

Ignorance truly is bliss. For in our ignorance in executing our actions, in a world of illusions, we are meant to explore & experience anything, knowing that we will always be taken care of. No matter the outcome, it always works out in our favour. 

A thought now pops into my head, relating to the medicinal herbs startup I founded and recently shared it with a guest- “May we never know what evils or ills that could have befallen us had we had our desires fulfilled.” On the back of that thought, I know the outcome in the present moment is always favourable. It is always what it is. No matter how joyful or painful it is, it will pass-  It is not I, not me, not myself. 

I never fully experienced the joy of being truly happy deep inside, since I chanted this mantra given to me at the start of my spiritual journey towards the end of the last century. … 

“ I am healthy, happy and enjoying every moment of my life, may all beings be blessed with good health, prosperity & spirituality. In full faith so be it.”

 Now I do. 

To put my lifelong quest into words; I now know that I have been seeking spiritual wisdom. Not just wisdom as expounded by the ancient Greeks but spiritual wisdom espoused by the Hindus. 

Buddhism, the more scientific methodology of contemplation, of mind and being, has its roots in the deep history of Hinduism. So while my left brain is intellectualised and grounded by the daily practice of Buddhism, my right brain takes flight on the myths, stories and ideologies of Hindu lores called Sanatana dhamma, a way of life aimed at living a civilised life. Which is a way of ‘being’ as opposed to chasing and doing. 

Although already aware of the being state, I have never fully immersed myself in being, until now. To be fully centered in ‘being’ most of my waking hours brings clarity to the quality of life. 

To be fully conscious and connected to everyone and everything around me yet detached. Mindful of first taking care of oneself in thought, word and deed. To be slow to react, to be kind in words and deliberate in actions. 

It’s such a liberating feeling to be; immune to criticism, beneath or above no one and to fear nothing. 

Yet I still feel a deep yearning for my loved ones to give my life meaning and purpose and share in it. 

Right now I know that every one of us will have to sit alone in solitude in silence or in chaos to contemplate life, when the time comes. I pray it be better sooner than later, no matter what condition our lives are in. It is an irrefutable truth. One of life’s guaranteed path to enlightenment aka ending suffering. 

We are more in a state of fear than in a neutral state of mind, let alone being in a joyful state most of the time. When we sit in silent contemplation, we learn how to enjoy it coming full circle to be - 

- immune to criticism 

- beneath or above no one. 

- Fearless. 

And conduct oneself in a manner to be as wise as serpents and as gentle as doves holding loving compassion in our hearts for all beings. 

What a great way to live.

Thank you, 

With Love,

SL Peter Gan

Amen. 🙏🏽 

Love After Love

Love After Love. 

The time will come 

When with elation

You will greet yourself arriving 

At your own door, in your own mirror,

And each will smile at the other's welcome,

And say, sit here, Eat.

You will love again the stranger who was your self.

Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart.

Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

The photographs, the desperate notes,

Peel your image from the mirror.

Sit. Feast on your life. 

 by Derek Walcott

Sunset by PineForest

This poem by Derek Walcott opened up a deep realisation that I had since childhood. The search for self  has masqueraded as the search for god, the meaning of life, the holy grail, and the questions of; 

Where I come from, 

What I am doing here and 

Where am I going after life?

When the first and most pertinent question has always been; Who Am I?

The answer to the first question is like the key that will unlock all other questions.

Perhaps the essay that this inspired me to write in my next post might shed light onto my thoughts and feelings on  'The Idea of Love.' 

One Lazy Sunday Afternoon.

Lazy Sunday Afternoons.

*Batik Painting by Chuah Thean Teng

 

Not to be mistaken for lazy Saturday afternoons or any lazy afternoon, the lazy Sunday afternoon is special if not spiritual in very many little ways. 

 

Apart from having to be on Sunday, the lazy part is largely accessed via feelings, emotions and experience. Lazy is in the sense of being aware but disenchanted. It is a moment where time stands still or at least drags on with a long languid languor of purposelessness. Usually imbued with heat and humidity - hence afternoon, one is caught in a situation one is inextricably part of, even though there’s really nothing happening. The situation as it happens, happens by unfolding unplanned.  A situation within a situation, if you get my drift. 

 

Visualise a situation in real life, in a café by the street, at the seaside, poolside, or simply gazing at nature, where you get to be the observer observing yourself in it. 

It is a scene where everything happens as it should, nothing is amiss. Like a scene in a movie setting waiting for something to happen except nothing happens… not a word is said.

Here is where Sunday makes its distinction, being the sabbath, a holiday largely observed, most people are not bustling about at work or in traffic. Some are cooling off in an after-lunch siesta. Few if none are required in the scene as stillness directs.

This little window of inactivity on a lazy Sunday afternoon is a sweet spot for observers of nothing, at the same time it is ‘full of life’ for the observant. 

 

A childhood memory of such an instance brings me back many years to when I was 7 or 8. It is our family homestead where just three of us were cast in an idyllic scene that framed the perfect lazy Sunday afternoon for me. 

A large luscious lawn spreading out under several coconut palms, under the shade of a short one, sat my mother slicing coconut fronds with a small sharp knife stripping them to their thin stems. The dogs are taking refuge from the heat under the house, my older sister then only a teenager, cradled my head on her knee, using a tiny wooden ear digger exploring my inner ears for wax. My mother while slicing deftly, was surveying the surroundings looking for stray chickens, goats or cows that may wander into our compound. My sister deeply engrossed with the insides of my ear, forced me to keep completely still, only allowing me to take in the entire scene lying on my side as if it was my job to capture, frame and archive this subliminally. While variations of this scene happened several times before at our home, it was this particular situation that stayed with me all these years. Perhaps I was fully engaged with all my senses in that moment feeling a deep sense of connection to the ladies of the house who took care of me. But it wasn’t just about the ladies in the scene as I recall the entire vignette comprising even the smells and texture of the grass, trees, plants, shrubs, background fence, including the large Chiku tree at the end of the fence gently stirring in the afternoon breeze. It was a periphery vision that I had tuned into. A sort of floodlight vision that augmented my spotlight vision that afforded me an expansive even oceanic feel to experiencing the life I was living. 

On that lazy Sunday afternoon, I felt I had a place in this big, complicated, and mysterious world I was thrust into. I felt safe coupled with deep physical and emotional comfort not fully comprehending then, that what I felt was love. 

*Batik painting featured - Chuah Thean Teng, Malaysian artist born 1914 in Fujian, China is widely regarded as the "father of batik art" who developed batik as a means of painting;^[1] "his adaptation of the traditional batik medium into an accepted form of painting ... elevated the status of batik as a craft to an art medium."^[5]

The Journey.

Every once in a long while, a voice silently creeps up and whispers loud in my heart with the journey that brings great respite to my journey. Walk on. 

 One day you finally knew

what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice --

though the whole house

began to tremble

and you felt the old tug

at your ankles.

"Mend my life!"

each voice cried.

But you didn't stop.

You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried

with its stiff fingers

at the very foundations,

though their melancholy

was terrible.

It was already late

enough, and a wild night,

and the road full of fallen

branches and stones.

But little by little,

as you left their voice behind,

the stars began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world,

determined to do

the only thing you could do --

determined to save

the only life that you could save.

 

 Mary Oliver

The Journey

1986

(Edited 15/6/24)

What this poem means to me?

It’s a near perfect description of the journey

I have traveled over the last five years. 

From the start to the present. 

I was caught in a vortex of cosmic proportions

that wrenched my insides outside. 

I have never felt so lost in my life.

I have been lost before but each time only momentarily.

Only because I always had my family to go home to.

I have had an abundance of physical and emotional

comforts all my life.

But not this time. It’s been five years and counting.  

I now know the meaning of pain, encompassing regret, longing,

missing, yearning, wishing, desiring and dreaming.

And I also know how to put all of them behind me except dreaming.

That is what I hang on to dearly, long inspired by this short poem;

“ Hold fast to dreams,

For if dreams die,

Life is a broken-winged bird

That cannot fly.”

~ Langston Hughes

My dreams have kept me sane as I descended the abyss.

I have blessed every pain and suffering I endured.

I am truly grateful to have walked this path. 

I realised that the person I need to love and forgive is myself.

Only then can I love and forgive others. Unconditionally. 

I am finally free. 

I do not ask for or expect love in return. 

I am in no need for external love or validation. 

I am whole. I have loved. I am loved. I am in love.

I am love. 

Like they say in Motown;

“...baby I can give you all the loving you need.”

May Your Journey Be Fulfilling. 

I love you. Jon's 33rd.

Dear Jon,

I have a confession to make. 

I had planned a reunion of sorts on your birthday because I was stumped about what to post for your 33rd. So an event or a meaningful meeting would definitely give me something to write about. 

On Monday I texted a certain someone whom I've not seen in a long time asking her to join me for a cup of coffee on Wednesday. It didn't happen. 

I also scheduled a much needed, long awaited dentist appointment late in the afternoon on Wednesday. 

That didn't happen either. My dentist had an emergency. 

So there I was at two minutes past two wondering what to do, seeing the futility in plans 'of mice & men.' My phone rang almost immediately. It was my dear techie friend AL asking if I wanted coffee. The universe works in mysterious ways I mused. Yes! I replied almost immediately. 

AL swung by in less than 20 minutes whisking me away to the deep recesses of Old Klang Road to a hipster coffee joint serving bagels with cream cheese and spicy potato wedges washed down with gula melaka latte. We sat in the small converted link house enjoying the fare while young local Chinese baristas hustle about the cafe in their oversized t-shirts tucked into tight high-waisted jeans. They seem to be doing fine especially the resident cat. After a healthy dose of single origin African coffee and conversation we left for another new coffee joint in Sect. 14 PJ but it was closed. 

Cafe' Cat by PineForest

So we went to a nearby cafe restaurant owned and run by a friend named Jonathan. Having visited him several times before I could see he wasn't his usual self. He looked depressed, and troubled by business woes. Ever since the post-covid recovery phase, Jon has been struggling to make a living to support his young family and in the past few months business has gotten worse at his cafe at Jaya Shopping Center. 
I tried the standard blanket statement of 'all of us are also suffering bro' but I didn't think he bought it. 

In fact he confessed that in the mornings before he opens his restaurant, he'd sit in the dark pondering the fate of his business, and that of his family, driving him to the brink of a breakdown. 

Here is a man who has had the courage to strike out to practice his craft of creative cooking but circumstances seem too overwhelming to endure. It seems that he was beginning to entertain all thoughts of abandonment and resignation in search of employment. 

I have often wondered how people in business are coping with the post-pandemic fallout. Now I am getting the answers as if in search of stories to mirror my own. The only difference is that I don't have the yoke of a young family to weigh me down or spur me on. Either way, suffer we must. 

Ponder, reflect, contemplate day and night in solitude we must, until we come face to face with our predicament. And maybe if we are patient enough, we will find the answers we seek in ourselves. 

We sat with Jon a long while, listening to his plans pre and post-covid and as he talked us through, it seemed he had a couple of viable options available for him to decide his next steps. We left him feeling and looking much more cheerful than we found him even though he refused to join us for dinner at the newly opened Chinese Muslim Mee Tarek and Mee Hiris Restaurant downstairs. 

So looking at what has unfolded today, if I were to have a man to man talk with Jon the cafe owner, I wouldn't know how to tell him what I think he needed to know in a way he'd understand because it would tantamount to preaching and enter the realm of meta physics. 

Hence I just sat there listening and holding space for that young man to vent. 

However, if it was you Jonathan, my son in a similar situation, I would probably say these to you;

1. Survival is not a problem. Live.

As long as we are willing to adapt, we can survive under any condition. 

If we are used to eating five meals a day, cut it down to two. This will reveal our eating habits are just that - habits we have gotten used to unnecessarily over feed our bodies even though we are not hungry. Our body will thank us for not over burdening the system. 

2. The mind is and always will be our enemy. Be mindful.

Most problems only exist in our minds. We just have to remind ourselves that every problem has a solution as long as we are willing to face them. When we do that we begin to see that things aren't as bad as we imagined. But the mind's primary job is to think and even overthink incessantly. Our job is to control the mind and use it to serve us and not the other way around. To do that, we have to be mindful. To focus on our breath that will bring us to the present moment. To stay in the present is to focus on everyone and everything around us because this is the only reality that exist, right now. So by constantly being here now, will silence the mind and lessen the endless chatter. 

3. Fear does not exist. Live exuberantly. 

When we're fully present, we begin to realise that fear has no place to dwell in our being. Fear is what we encounter when we lose unity with the present moment. Our mind then dwells in the past or gets anxious about the future. 

4. Everything is temporary, ephemeral, transitional. 

All that is subject to arising is subject to ceasing. the Buddha said. That is a universal, scientific truth. 

No matter what we are going through, whether it be a joyous situation or a negative one, it will pass. 

After the winter, comes spring. It's only natural hence irrefutable. 

And sure enough the sun will come shining through. 

If it's not shining yet, keep going, singing in the rain, soon there will be laughter in the rain or sunshine. 

Well Jon, this is your post. The message is that I see you, us in every young man especially the ones named Jonathan. Just like you he's talented and hardworking. And I know just like you, he'll be fine.

 

Happy 33rd Dude.

P/s. I've chosen a song by my childhood crush for your birthday soire'. She's a Hawaiian hottie.  

I love you. Asshole.

New Year Resolutions.

New Year resolutions are like mistletoe, they only appear at the end of the year and disappear again at year's end.

If I were to make a New Year's resolution, I would just make this one. Every year. 

 

Photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash

How Not to be an Asshole. (DBAA)

Being an asshole is like being stupid. People can see you but you can’t. 

Believe me I know, I've been there. 

Truth hurts. The more it hurts the better you’ll become. 

Here’s my 10. 

1. When was the last time you smiled? Genuinely?  Now Smile please. 

2. Look people in the eye. And smile. 

3. Say 'please' and 'thank you' always.  And smile. 

4. Don’t be late for anything. 

5. Especially if you’re meeting your Mother/Granny or your Grab ride. These people are important. One gave you life, the other support life for his family. For all of them time is short. 

6. Be nice to the waiter and everyone in the service industry. Give genuine tips when appropriate.  *compliments are also tips. 

7. Say Yes to everything. For once. See how it feels. 

8. Listen to music. Really listen. Feel it. 

9. Stop joking. Really. Stop yourself and pay attention to everyone and everything around you. See how it feels. Really feel. Nice isn’t it? 

10. Tell your mother, your wife, your daughter, your son, your father, your husband “I love you” at least once a day. 

You never know when you will see them again. 

I love you. Live. For A Happy Happy New Year.

I love you. Sprezzatura.

Fancy a Sprezzatura?

Photo by Giuseppe Mondì on Unsplash

Words descend into our conscious space everyday. Some descend like the gentle breeze, some descend like a hammer. This word landed like a crown of thorns. 

She descended like a sunset over the Tuscan horizon catching me holding a glass of red wine in one hand enjoying the vista alone.

Intoxicating, refreshing, exuberantly liberating in every sense. The wine glass is full. 

I am in… a state called; 

Sprezzatura 

Which means…Effortless Grace. Studied carelessness. Studied nonchalance. Careless grace. Nonchalance. Organised chaos. 

This word struck me like very few words have. 

The word was uttered in total abandon by signora Olivia under the Tuscan evening sky over a hill on top of an olive grove overlooking the valley below.

The truth never sounded so good. Because it is immediately felt. 

Once you understand what those beautiful letters spell- S P R E Z Z A T U R A you will never ever be able to describe the feeling. You just understand and that is enough. 

Like all other words depicting ETERNAL TRUTHS, this word sits right up there with LOVE, NOW, MEDITATE, EARTH, WATER, AIR, FIRE, SPACE, NATURE, CONSCIOUSNESS.

They all ring true to my very core. Undeniably. Irrefutably. 

Words are vibrations and they come in waves. This one comes, cocoons and envelops me like a light woollen blanket with its unique prickliness. There is a certain chill in the air. 

Perhaps because it comes with the truth that to live life one has to let go of life. It brings with it an exuberance that almost chokes. At the same time it uplifts one’s spirit freeing oneself from all the fetters of guilt and despair. And the need for control.

Once understood, we begin to see that life is to be lived with a certain carelessness. 

Caring less for desired outcomes but accepting whatever comes as a result. No matter how industrious, well prepared, well planned or painful diligence poured into any pursuit, the outcome is yet uncertain. The result of one’s ventures seldom, if never, turn out exactly as planned. 

Sometimes, in fact most times, they turn out better than planned but one is too blinded with expectations that one misses the better result staring at one’s face. Perhaps it is because one only has one yardstick for the measurement of success. A dogged determination of gain, conquest, ownership and possession. Self-service as an end to all pursuits. Forgetting the bigger picture of who and what was gained, what was experienced and who we have become as a result of the strife. 

Only when one can adopt an attitude of 'careless grace' can one begin to fully appreciate life, enjoy the journey, choose whatever shows up and one will never be disappointed. 

The life that we live is truly 'organised chaos' because nothing is certain. 

When nothing is certain, anything is possible. 

All one has to do is pay attention.  

I love you. Now

 The three-letter word. And the three-word sentence.

Photo by Aleksey Oryshchenko on Unsplash

 

Probably the most important word and sentence in Life. 

Now and Be Here Now. 

Now you are reading this. It is only ever NOW that you are doing anything. 

So why not Be Here Now? 

Think about that. Now. 

I love you. Pool Garden

Photo: PineForest

 The Trees

They breathe oxygen into my lungs.
They shelter me from the sun and storms.
Parading all the hues of blue and green

for my eyes to rest upon as I gaze out at the ether.


The Water

She snuggles me in the bosom of her depths.

She makes me gurgle and gasp.

She takes my breath away, each time I suck in

the life surrounding me atop the water.

The Japanese Black Pines

They surround all four corners of the pool garden.

Each standing vigilant like samurai warriors standing guard,

strong and dignified in the sun and wind, day and night.

I Love You. Jon @32

 The Four Agreements.

This came to me early this morning at 5.30 am to be exact.

This book on personal growth based on ancient Toltec wisdom, written by Don Miguel Ruiz was published in 1997. 

It was on my list of spiritual or self-help books since 1999 when my journey into self began. I have acquired many books since but this one somehow eluded me. Until this morning when I awoke in bed, giving thanks for being able to wake and feel my limbs intact and mobile. It came in the form of an audio book so I promptly dived into it and barely into the first chapter, I found it warranted my full attention. So I got out of bed, went into the living room, sat in my reading chair and braced myself for over an hour of pure truths.

It has often been said that, the book finds you and not the other way around. I couldn't agree more and I am revelling in that saying. Better late than never. what's even better, this came at the crack of dawn on your birthday Jon.

In the days leading up to this one, one gets to ponder on exquisite questions like; what topics of discussion would we be indulging in? Or what advise would we be inspiring each other with?

Well, I need to ponder no more. The answers came to me fast and hard at the dawn of today.

As a reminder to self, here's a quick summary of the gift of The Four Agreements;

The backdrop is about limiting beliefs that we all have been "domesticated" since childhood that robs us of joy and create needless suffering.

To break the centuries old conditioning, we can practice three skills to free ourselves against  'domestication' 

1. Awareness- Practice meditation and mindfulness.

2. Forgiveness- Awareness brings forgiveness

3. Action- From forgiveness we will receive the strength to act.

Then to break all our previous self-limiting agreements, start these new Four Agreements and completely change our lives:

First : "Be Impeccable with your word."

Say only the truth and only what you mean. first to yourself and to others.

Second: "Don't take anything personally."

Understand that others words are the product of their own domesticated lives.

Third: "Don't make assumptions"

Be brave to ask questions.

Fourth: " Always do your best"

Your best will change from moment to moment.

Come to think of it, you are the embodiment of the Four Agreements above, don't you think?

I am enjoying the present, moment to moment. 

Thank you Jon. Happy Birthday.

Au Revoir.

I love you. A Spiritual Vision.

 What is a Spiritual Vision?

Photo by Tom Gainor on Unsplash

Sounds really deep doesn't it? Sounds like you'd have to shave your head, retreat into a cave deep in the mountains, sit and contemplate your life, doesn't it?

Well not quite. 

Thanks to Preethaji & Krishnaji, founders of O&O Academy, it simply means deciding which inner state to operate from. But before we decide which inner state to be constantly in, the question of WHY arises. Why do we have to decide on a spiritual vision?

Because, in our brain, there are 100 billion neurons, a trillion support cells called neuroglia and at least 100 trillion neural connections. Our thoughts and emotions are like electrical impulses moving at incredible speeds between neurons. 

According to Jennifer Hawthorne, bestselling co-author of Chicken Soup for the Woman's Soul, human beings have 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day, and the majority of them are repetitive. 

And a shocking 80 percent of our ordinary mental chatter are negative. Which means most people on average live 80 percent of their time in a suffering state unconsciously, and 20 percent of the time in a beautiful state.

To truly come alive, we must reverse the ratio. Gradually the 20 percent must become 40 percent, 60 percent, 80 percent or more living in a beautiful state. Imagine how beautiful life would be.

So A Spiritual Vision is not a goal to reach. It is simply this; 

It refers to the very state you choose to live in as you go about reaching your goals. It is, in fact, the mother of all visions.

Let's say you have a vision of being a leader, a partner, parent, or a CEO. Those are roles. 

They're all about doing. What about your inner state every day? 

Would you be ok with fulfilling the role of a leader, partner, parent, CEO in a state of confusion, frustration or guilt?

Or would you like to fulfill these roles while living in a beautiful state of connection and clarity? 

Imagine a happy parent? A fulfilled partner, or A grateful CEO?  

So I think the most important decision we can ever hold on to is this;

From which state do we want to live every day of our lives? From which state do we want to create our destiny?

There are only two states of being- A beautiful state or A suffering state. You get to choose.

I love you. Departures.

 Flight.

There are those whose wings

Learn to catch the winds

Before the rest of us.

Their world opens, vast

They soar, so fast.

(Too fast?)

And are gone, free forever.

We say "See you there"

(with a hint of despair)

For alone, we know not how.

We yearn to take flight

But we know, to earn the right

Would be to leap without fear.

Now is not our time.

For that glory so sublime

A thousand miles 

and years remain.

Let us think of the skies

And with hope in our eyes

Slowly, surely, learn to fly.

    Fifteen years have flown by, since your departure from this world. Still not a day goes by   that you are not with us. What joy you bring in your presence and in your absence.                   

             For it is in knowing and having you in our lives that make this life a lot more worthwhile and more worth living. So; Here's to living and dying and dying and living. 

            After all; Departures are Arrivals as Endings are Beginnings. See you there. Son.

 

 

 

I love you. Jon @31

 Knocking On Heaven's Door

That would be your anthem, among many of course. I chose this one because it reminds me of the mortality of the human form. The surety that as each of us is born we must each surely die. The best line thus far depicting and driving home this fact for me is encapsulated in this cheeky quote; “ do not get too serious with life, nobody gets out alive” So it is and was on that score( hmm.. I’m wondering if any great composer has a music score on that? Must check) that you, me and largely the conscious have come to live life. 

I still remember back when you and your band chose to sing this song, I was a little disturbed but gave it no further thought as I marked Guns & Roses under the genre of heavy metal and hard rock. They’re meant to be rebellious and provocative and I had little interest in them. 

However upon further introspection over time, this song holds much truth for living as much as it is about dying. We must come to terms with death before we can start living. 

Originally composed by Bob Dylan for the Sam Peckinpah movie- Pat Garret and Billy the Kid, this song is one of the greatest soundtracks of our lives. It has since been covered by many artists including Eric Clapton and GnR. Peckinpah also made the epic western- The Wild Bunch, that revised the entire western genre with innovative storytelling, and real depictions of violence in his interpretations. His characters are mostly loners and losers who desire to be honourable but are forced to compromise in a world of injustice and brutality. He inspired many filmmakers notably John Woo, who framed most of his shots inspired by Peckinpah, who pioneered the slow motion action sequences and Woo became iconic for using those techniques in his movies.

The song was written to the lyrics depicting the movie, there's nothing to it. 

Jon’s take was purely band and pop (rebel)culture driving the young of his time. It was after all 2004 and you were 14 and not much of a rebel. The oft repeated phrase keeps coming back in reprise. The rebuttal on my lips every time is;  aren’t we all, Knocking on Heaven’s door? Well you knocked and the door opened for you. You lucky bastard! Son of a Gan! I always see that cheeky grin of yours, it's a certain delightful knowing that it's all ok. 

I suppose at 31 you’d know by now that we don't ever really die. We live on in each other even after we die. 

Happy Birthday Son. It is all ok.

I love you. Keep Calm and Hold on. (Yoga, Hinduism, Buddhism, Stoicism)

 Yogic Culture births Hinduism. Hinduism births Buddhism. And perhaps Stoicism?

In times like these, one is tempted to be sucked into the doldrums that besiege our nation- the alarming number of Covid cases has become a daily scoreboard for public sentiment. At time of writing, the numbers are at an all time high of 11,618 new cases. The higher the numbers climb, the more the hopeless masses sink into despair. Who can blame them? Their livelihoods have been severely curtailed, jobs have been wiped out, businesses have shutdown for months now. No solution is yet in sight.

How will people feed themselves or their families? How do they even survive? 

Here I distract myself from answering questions that have no plausible answers but write about spirituality because spirituality is where I seek solace and more importantly, clarity. While solace is a temporary feeling, clarity is actionable.

While I try to maintain an even keel with my life grounded in Stoicism principles outlined in my previous blog- Here- Stoicism, I am also a devotee of Hinduism, deeply rooted in the Yogic culture. 

I have come to realise there are great similarities in the two. Whether they are related or not I do not know.

I would like to highlight 5 Yogic Principles extolled numerous times by one of the most lucid and eloquent thinker and speaker on the subject of life. 

With great reverence and gratitude I would like to share practical enlightenment from Sadhguru.

1. Keep Account of Your Joy.

Everyday (Covid or no) all sorts of things and events happen to our life, most of which we have no control over. So what's important is that no matter what happens in our life situation, we must stay joyful and keep score of how many moments of Joy you have. Joy is not a goal to attain, joy is available to you at any time. Joy means you're at ease with no pain in the body or trouble in the mind. 

These are the only two kinds of human suffering- body and mind. 

Joy means life has come to ease you not mess you up. If you are at ease, your are in Joy. 

2. Eating With Gratitude.

Whatever you eat, just like whatever you do, you must do it consciously. There is life in food, as we consume it, it gives us life, keeping us alive. Therefore it is life giving material, so whatever and whenever we eat we must eat with reverence and gratitude. Especially now, when people aren't certain when they will have their next meal.

3. Connecting With The Earth.

This very earth that we walk upon has a certain power and memory. After all, all life on this planet has come out of this earth. Spend a few minutes outdoors in your garden, staying in touch with mother earth, touching the soil with our palms and our soles to connect with nature, touching the plants, the flowers and the trees. 

This is the basis of our life, this will harmonise our system. 

4. Wake Up With A Smile.

Before going to sleep each night, sit in bed for two minutes and imagine you're going to die in two minutes time. Then see how you sleep. You will see that when or if you wake up you will feel like a 'newborn'. If you are still alive, then give yourself a Big Smile. Statistics show some people may not wake up tomorrow morning. Being alive is the greatest thing happening to you. Not your possessions, not your family, not your titles or achievements. You're Alive right now. So Smile. Life is indeed very brief.

5. Resolve to get High on Life.

Your ability to live on this planet is essentially how well you can harness your body and your mind. To harness this, it's very important to keep a little space between You and your body and You and your mind. Remember whatever suffering is only experienced in the body or the mind. There is no other kind of suffering- only Physical suffering and Mental suffering. When you can keep a little distance between You and the body and mind, there is no fear of suffering. If you can do this for just a few minutes a day, you will truly get high on life. 

Only then you will explore the full depth and dimension of this life. 

All you need to resolve to do is;  Meditate.

If you'd like to do so, go to my earlier posts > Meditation #1, or Meditate #2, or Be Still  or Meditation #4 or just scroll down to the last post before this. Try it. It's highly recommended.

Stay Safe. Stay Joyful.

I love you. The Invitation #11.

Deep Sustenance.

"It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom

you have studied,

I want to know what sustains you,

from the inside,

when all else falls away."

"...When all we have relied upon has fallen away, there is nothing to do but wait without faith or hope. How we wait- whether we remain open or closed up- is the choice we have to make, a choice to either live or begin to spiral down toward death. To choose life we have to be willing to wait, open to life and love at a time when opening seems impossible and we are sure that no one and nothing will ever be able to find us."

          "What sustains us, when all else falls away are the things that make waiting and staying open to life             possible. I have been lucky to find three such things in my life- my practices of prayer and                          meditation, writing and spending time close to nature."

"The truth is, I only have to receive and give what I am able. There is no risk. The intimacy, the interconnectedness of all life, that is the love to which we all belong, can only be given and received. It cannot be taken. And when it is given and received, we are sustained."

 

~Oriah Mountain Dreamer

*In my own experience; When all has fallen away, I eventually realise that all that is left is the real me, devoid of names, titles, labels, and possessions. This is when I meet my true self and see if I really like the company I keep.

I love you. The Invitation #4

 The Sorrow.

This chapter begins with;

"EVERY LIFE HAS PAIN AND SORROW in it. It is part of being human.

"...All the while, deep inside, I know what I have always known: that the knowledge will never be enough.

 

This is the secret we keep from ourselves. And the moment it is revealed, we become aware of a need for something else: for the wisdom to live with what we do not know, what we cannot control, what is painful -  and still choose life. Wisdom is often born in the shadows, frequently more visible in the darkness than the light.

 

...We must move into darker places if we are to find the wisdom we so desperately need. We rarely go there willingly, though every life contain its own cycles of grief and celebration. To meet wisdom in these dark places we must be willing and able to hold all of what life gives us, to exclude nothing of ourselves or the world, to tell ourselves the truth. Wisdom will stretch us far beyond where we thought we could or wanted to go. She will show us what we cannot change or control, reveal what is hard to know about ourselves and the world, and tear at the illusions of what we think we know, until we are surrounded by the vastness of the mystery. And all the while, wisdom asks us to choose life. She does not want us to just continue, to hang on, to survive. She asks us to experience life actively, fully, every day - to show up for all of it. 

*At this point, a reprise of a phrase of the poem is in order...

       It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon.

          I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, 

                 if you have been opened by life's betrayals 

          or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain. 

                    I want to know if you can sit with pain, 

           mine or your own,

                    without moving to hide it

           or fade it

                    or fix it.

 

~ Oriah Mountain Dreamer "

 

I love you. The Invitation #2

 The Longing.

"It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.

 

I want to know what you ache for,

 

and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing."

         

Chapter two details the heart's longing. The crux of love has always been about deep longings. 

For it is the longing that transcend the physical, the mental into the spiritual realm. 

It is Love Longing for Itself.

"And if  we are to be lovers for the first time or again, after many times, let the lovemaking be filled with shyness and discovery the way it was, or could have been, when we were sixteen: today a kiss that lingers, a touch on the back of my neck that I can feel for hours: tomorrow a light caress across my breast that makes my breath catch. I want to savour each discovery of touch as the infinite unfolding of the other. I want to slow it all down, to wander around wet, aching for what is to come next, so I will know when I have been fully entered, whether by your body, your story, or just simply the moment that passes between us."

        - Oriah Mountain Dreamer

 

 

I love you. The Invitation.

Accepting the Invitation. 

A privilege to start the book, perhaps I shall document excerpts to further internalise my understanding and learning.

The first chapter has many gems and anecdotes. This one paragraph deserves keeping;

"There are a thousand ways to love other people and the world- with our touch, our words, our silences, our work, our presence. I want to love well. This is my hunger. I want to make love to the world by the way I live in it, by the way I am with myself and others every day. So I seek to increase my ability to be with the truth in each moment, to be with what I know, the sweet and the bitter. I want to stay aware of the vastness of what I do not know. This is what brings me to the journey, I do not want to live any other way..."

        ~ Oriah Mountain Dreamer

 

There is much truth, humility and hunger packed into one single paragraph.

I love you. There is no meaning to life.

What Is The Meaning of Life?

Photo by Ali Gündoğdu on Unsplash

Have you ever pondered this question?

Life has no meaning. The more we think about it the more life has no meaning at all.

There is nothing to do. Nothing to chase. nothing to achieve, nothing to die for if we don't give it any meaning.

Life has no meaning unless we assign it one or two or several. It's all up to us to define our life.

Life has meaning when I can forget myself, to do something to further a cause, or to love another to be more human. 

It starts with being attentive and inclusive to everything and everyone around us. Acknowledging the news vendor, the cleaner, the cashier, a word of hope to a friend who feels down, basically anyone we encounter in our daily life. Helping someone get in better shape, being a good parent, partner, friend, mentoring a child, spending time with the young or the aged. All these give us a purpose to live and they are all grounded in love to have meaning.

Maybe we will find something we are willing to die for, and then we need to live for it.

 

I love you. Success #3

 The Definition of a Successful Life. Now.

Image by PineForest

There is no need to wait until a ripe old age to assess if you have lived a successful life. You can do it now.

Ultimately life as we know it, boils down to three simple questions. 

Just answer these three questions with as much clarity as possible.

1. Where do I live?

 

2.  Who am I with?

       3.  What am I doing?

 

 Today we examine the third and probably the most important question.

"What am I doing?" is the most important because we are not what we say. We are what we do.

Having a job is the least important in this equation. You are not your job. Just like you are not your possessions or your intellect. These are merely accumulations of things or impressions you have acquired during your time here. They may be yours but they're not You. 

So, what are you doing? Refers to what are you doing with this life throbbing within you. And around you.

There are two parts in this. Within and Without.

Within you deals with what is happening inside you. Are you in a state of bliss? 

Are you living a life unsullied by memory or unnecessary thoughts that hijack your attention to a faraway place in the past or a non-event in the future?

Are you constantly present in the moment now? Are you living your life as it presents itself to you right NOW? Or are are you busy planning for the future right now? Or worse, suffering a past event?

Remember, the future is actually arriving in successions of the moment now.

So how do you know if you're living in the moment now? 

This brings us to the second part- Without.

Are you paying attention to everything around you with ALL of your sense perceptions?

• Do you hear the bird song in the distant trees? 

• Can you feel the morning breeze caressing the softness of your cheeks? 

• Do you notice the brilliant & ever changing hues of the evening sky? 

• Can you detect the subtle yet intoxicating fragrances nature exudes during the seasons? 

• Have you tasted the thick air on a moonlit night?

In short, Are you noticing in great detail the place where you live?

• Do you notice if she or he is happy, or sad? 

• Or whether your significant other is in need of a sympathetic ear or a strong shoulder?

In short, Are you paying close attention to the person you are with? 

So it doesn't really matter where you are or who you are with. What really matters is;

What are you doing?

If you think about it, what we should be doing is to be fully present to whatever is presented to us in the moment now. 

When we are able to do that, then the first two questions can only be truly meaningful.

Here's to a Successful Life. Now.