The Journey.

Every once in a long while, a voice silently creeps up and whispers loud in my heart with the journey that brings great respite to my journey. Walk on. 

 One day you finally knew

what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice --

though the whole house

began to tremble

and you felt the old tug

at your ankles.

"Mend my life!"

each voice cried.

But you didn't stop.

You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried

with its stiff fingers

at the very foundations,

though their melancholy

was terrible.

It was already late

enough, and a wild night,

and the road full of fallen

branches and stones.

But little by little,

as you left their voice behind,

the stars began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world,

determined to do

the only thing you could do --

determined to save

the only life that you could save.

 

 Mary Oliver

The Journey

1986

(Edited 15/6/24)

What this poem means to me?

It’s a near perfect description of the journey

I have traveled over the last five years. 

From the start to the present. 

I was caught in a vortex of cosmic proportions

that wrenched my insides outside. 

I have never felt so lost in my life.

I have been lost before but each time only momentarily.

Only because I always had my family to go home to.

I have had an abundance of physical and emotional

comforts all my life.

But not this time. It’s been five years and counting.  

I now know the meaning of pain, encompassing regret, longing,

missing, yearning, wishing, desiring and dreaming.

And I also know how to put all of them behind me except dreaming.

That is what I hang on to dearly, long inspired by this short poem;

“ Hold fast to dreams,

For if dreams die,

Life is a broken-winged bird

That cannot fly.”

~ Langston Hughes

My dreams have kept me sane as I descended the abyss.

I have blessed every pain and suffering I endured.

I am truly grateful to have walked this path. 

I realised that the person I need to love and forgive is myself.

Only then can I love and forgive others. Unconditionally. 

I am finally free. 

I do not ask for or expect love in return. 

I am in no need for external love or validation. 

I am whole. I have loved. I am loved. I am in love.

I am love. 

Like they say in Motown;

“...baby I can give you all the loving you need.”

May Your Journey Be Fulfilling. 

I love you. The Invitation #8

 Failure.

 

                I want to know if you can live with failure,

          your and mine,

          and still stand at the edge of the lake

         and shout to the silver of the full moon,

       "Yes!"

"When we cannot live with failure, we limit the intimacy in our lives. People do not tell stories of failure to those who have room in their hearts only for perfection. Tell me a story of failure in your life, a time when you made a mistake. Tell it with compassion for the child or man or woman you were. Tell it with ruthless honesty and gentle acceptance. We do not avoid shame by hiding mistakes. The shame just becomes buried within us.

 

"Shame releases it's paralysing grip on us when we take responsibility for our mistakes and the sometimes serious consequences those mistakes can have for ourselves and others. In this way shame can be our ally, pointing to things we have not accepted about ourselves, and making retribution for these injuries where it is possible. "Forgiveness happens with time, as we learn to live with what cannot be changed. The capacity to live with what is hard is within us. When we can live consciously with the knowledge of what we or others have done, we are freed from the constant, if unconscious effort of trying to pull away from what is.

 

~Oriah Mountain Dreamer