Driving Lesson

I had planned this for a long time but never got round to it, partly because I wanted him to ask. Then the night before, driving back from The Gardens where we went to get his football boots, he asked if he could drive the car home at the last stretch.
I agreed and he got into the driver's seat but the car didn't move an inch. The darkness of the night didn't help cos we couldn't see the clutch. End of attempt.
So the next day ie. yesterday as I drove off to work, I made a mental note to come home early at least while there is still light to properly give Zane his driving lesson.
It was a hectic meetings filled day, as I rushed home from several delayed and lengthy meetings to get Zane behind the wheel again. This time in proper daylight although it was already late evening.

I drove the car to a secluded stretch of flat road and he got behind the steering wheel. After several attempts to get the clutch and accelerator going, he finally got the car cruising round the neighbourhood. He did. He really did drive a long stretch until he had to stop and restart the car again. Then the coordination of both his feet on the clutch pedal and the accelerator pedal went awry and the car simply lunged forward and died. This happened several times and each time he restarted and tried again only to have the engine die on him as he released the clutch too fast.
The times when he got the car going was when he just 'stepped and release' by pure chance. I think overall he enjoyed himself. Although I don't think I did.
I was such an idiot, a worry wart, an insufferable old man. I was totally impatient with him and I lost my cool. That is just so uncool.
There I was so looking forward to this 'special' moment of a son learning to drive for the first time and I totally lost it. This was supposed to be a milestone in my life and Zane's. Just like the time when all my boys and me got our ears pierced and acquired earrings.
Nett. Nett. I think Zane got a good first time out with driving a manual car while the biggest lesson of all was for me. A person who's supposed to be so calm, cool and collected.
Here's the lesson-Chill Pa!!!

TL's Farewell

I saw the man on April 13 at 6.15pm in the ICU at Pantai Hospital, holding in my hand the gift book I had just gotten on my birthday party the night before.
I had wanted to show him his very meaningful entry together with the picture he contributed to my book. But he was unconscious.

I walked to his bedside and there he was, breathing hard into an oxygen mask. He looked like he was in deep sleep until he let out a cry for water...
"Water", he said, " I want water".
We called for the nurse who promptly swabbed his lips and mouth with some water. She then told us that there was an unusually high level of toxins in his blood and that he had just completed one cycle of dialysis to remove the toxins.
"He is resting now... and he should come out of it later tonight", the nurse said.
"Is he conscious now?" I asked her.
"He drifts in and out of consciousness", she answered. "When we want to tell him something, we just wake him up by calling his name".
"Thanks", I said.
I turned my gaze to TL lying in his bed still breathing heavy and hard, his eyes closed, I leaned forward, using my right hand, I held his left hand lightly and called his name;
"TL, TL!" I raised my voice.
"Huh??!" he responded
"Do you know who I am TL?" I said. And he tried to open his eyes to look at me. His eyes opened partially and then he said;
" You are Doctor-la"
"No TL. It's Peter... Peter Gan TL...?" I said
He continued his laboured breathing into the oxygen mask.
Seeing that there was no response, I figured he needed rest so, I squeezed his hand and said to him, "TL..., you have just finished dialysis, and the nurse says it's ok. You should continue resting ok? I will let you rest and I'll come back later ok?!"
Then Agnes and I walked to the side and continued to look over him from a distance.
"He looks quite serious? No..?" Agnes observed.
Without skipping a beat, I said; "No darling. He'll be fine, he's got a lot of life left in him, he'll be ok." And with that we said a silent farewell to TL and left.

Barely six hours after that, TL had passed away. At 12.30am April 14, TL succumbed to Septicemia or blood poisoning. Apparently the dialysis didn't work and I was wrong about him being ok.
Well, I still think TL to be the most OK guy in my world. In our earlier and younger days, I would often refer to him as our 'fearless' leader. He would always stand up to any situation and face it with a cool head and solve it with his keen, analytical and organised mind. He showed me what fearlessness and responsibility was about. He showed me how to live with a big appetite and how to love, laugh and pursue everything with a tenacity that only he possessed.
I shall go to his wake tonight to pay my respects and the funeral tomorrow to be pall bearer.
It will be my honour dear TL as it was an honour serving with you.

Farewell my friend. For now.